Post # 1
We sent out our invitations about 2 weeks ago. The problem is some of the people that have sent back their rsvps want to bring Tom,Dick, and Harry to my wedding. My fiancé and I tried to account for people that we knew would bring a guest, however some people that we know are not in relationships or married think their supposed to bring all their friends. The problem that’s bothering me the most is people rsvping their kids. I’m afraid that I will eventually have to turn away adults because children are in those spots. I just feel like people who live in town should at least make an attempt to make other arrangements for their children. I have a really close friend who has rsvped her teenage daughters just because they want to go to a wedding. This would not be an issue but we were only allotted a certain amount of space and we are paying for it. Would I be rude to tell people they can’t bring their children or all their friends? Please help I don’t know what to do
Post # 3
how did you address the invites? only the names on the invite should be coming; unless you wrote ‘& family’. did you specify who was the intended invitee?
Post # 4
@FutureMrsRiley: Oh dear, i think it should be a plus 1 for people who aren’t in a relationship/married. That way they will have someone they will know to not make them feel left out especialy if you are paying alot of money per head to feed these people.
With your friend RSVP her teenage daughters just because they want to go is quite rude. Im from the school of thought that no kids go to weddings, this is an event for adults and the kids get to stay over at grans for the night! Thats they way it has always been in my family. This all depends on if you have invited kids or an adults only day. I think you need to have a chat with your friends, im sure they will understand. Good luck!
Post # 5
Agree with ^^^. The names of the invited should be on the envelope, if no kids, I wrote Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. (we’re doing no children, but I have some cousins welcome if theyre in their teens) I also put __ of __ will be attending on the rsvps and filled the second line so they knew how many seats were for them. I know it’s too late for you to do that though.
I would be making phone calls to the ones adding people and let them know who is invited in their party and that seating is very limited.
Post # 6
@mypinkshoes..we addressed the invites just to one person unless they are married then we put to Mr. And Mrs. We didn’t put and family on any except one. That’s why I’m like where are these people coming from.
@sammyjo2012011….We tried to plus 1 most of them but some we didn’t.
The kicker is because I’m from a small town and most people know me, they think they are automatically invited. Several people have told my parents they are coming but they haven’t been invited. It’s going to be some hurt feelings because my reception is RSVP only.
Post # 7
It is awkward and sometimes difficult but most couples end up having to contact certain people and tell them they cannot add extra guests. Just prepare in your mind what you are going to say, and stick to the script.
Phone them and say that ” We were happy to see that you are able to attend the wedding. We are sorryy, but the venue cannot accomodate any more guests. We hope you can find childcare as we look forward to seeing you at the wedding.”
Leave out the last line for those without children. For those with no plus one, you can add, “If we have seats available closer to the wedding, we will get back to you so you can invite a guest.”
Do not mention the budget as there will always be someone who says they will pay for the extra guest.
Post # 8
I am also from a small town, and we had a bit of an issue with it too. We tried to make it clear that it is invitation only. We didn’t seem to have as much of an issue with it as you seem to be, but the best advice that I got was to delegate dealing with it. People who were causing issues that are close to my mom, she contacted them and let them know that Mr & Mrs were invited as indicated on the invitation and we don’t have room for the others. The bridesmaids delt with our mutual friends, and my husband’s family dealt with thier family. We blamed it on the venue, but the real reason was our budget.
I’m not sure why people do this, but we also had a few people who wanted to bring thier teenage children that we don’t even really know and thier boyfriends. I think if you hold your ground, and are nice about it people will understand.
I honestly think that people don’t even know they are out of line, and once you let them know they will be respectful. We figured those who aren’t respectful, aren’t real friends anyway, so who cares if they get mad and don’t want to come anymore.