(Closed) HELP….RSVP issues

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

how did you address the invites?  only the names on the invite should be coming; unless you wrote ‘& family’.  did you specify who was the intended invitee?

Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsRiley:  Oh dear, i think it should be a plus 1 for people who aren’t in a relationship/married. That way they will have someone they will know to not make them feel left out especialy if you are paying alot of money per head to feed these people.

With your friend RSVP her teenage daughters just because they want to go is quite rude. Im from the school of thought that no kids go to weddings, this is an event for adults and the kids get to stay over at grans for the night! Thats they way it has always been in my family. This all depends on if you have invited kids or an adults only day. I think you need to have a chat with your friends, im sure they will understand. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Agree with ^^^. The names of the invited should be on the envelope, if no kids,  I wrote Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. (we’re doing no children, but I have some cousins welcome if theyre in their teens) I also put __ of __ will be attending on the rsvps and filled the second line so they knew how many seats were for them. I know it’s too late for you to do that though. 

I would be making phone calls to the ones adding people and let them know who is invited in their party and that seating is very limited. 

Post # 7
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is awkward and sometimes difficult but most couples end up having to contact certain people and tell them they cannot add extra guests. Just prepare in your mind what you are going to say, and stick to the script.

Phone them and say that ” We were happy to see that you are able to attend the wedding. We are sorryy, but the venue cannot accomodate any more guests. We hope you can find childcare as we look forward to seeing you at the wedding.”

Leave out the last line for those without children. For those with no plus one, you can add, “If we have seats available closer to the wedding, we will get back to you so you can invite a guest.”

Do not mention the budget as there will always be someone who says they will pay for the extra guest.

Post # 8
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am also from a small town, and we had a bit of an issue with it too. We tried to make it clear that it is invitation only. We didn’t seem to have as much of an issue with it as you seem to be, but the best advice that I got was to delegate dealing with it. People who were causing issues that are close to my mom, she contacted them and let them know that Mr & Mrs were invited as indicated on the invitation and we don’t have room for the others. The bridesmaids delt with our mutual friends, and my husband’s family dealt with thier family. We blamed it on the venue, but the real reason was our budget.

I’m not sure why people do this, but we also had a few people who wanted to bring thier teenage children that we don’t even really know and thier boyfriends. I think if you hold your ground, and are nice about it people will understand.

I honestly think that people don’t even know they are out of line, and once you let them know they will be respectful. We figured those who aren’t respectful, aren’t real friends anyway, so who cares if they get mad and don’t want to come anymore.

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