Post # 1
I’m jumping the gun here a little, because I’m still an (unofficial) waiting bee, but in all our wedding talks, it’s become really clear that my SO has no idea about wedding etiquette or planning. That’s ok, he’s the guy right? Except he THINKS he knows! It’s so frustrating!
For example, he’ll declare that he thinks photographers are “pointless” and he’d much rather just hand a camera to a good buddy for the night (!!!). He was also shocked when I said I didn’t want kids at the wedding, and protested, “Come on, how would you even tell people that??” He thinks that 6 groomsmen is the average number, etc etc.
The thing is, he says the planning is up to me, but then has REALLY strong opinions about a lot of wedding-related things and they’re so…off. Does anyone have…I don’t know, a Men’s Guide to Weddings? I doubt he’ll want to read my stack of bridal magazines, but he needs some sort of definitive guide because I swear, he’s so stubborn he won’t believe anything if it comes from me!
Help! It would be a lot easier if he could read some quick guide instead of me having to explain/argue the simplest points with him
Post # 3
I was looking for something online for you and I found this here. At least it addresses the photographer issue and maybe there’s some other stuff on that site that would help!
10 ways that your photos might suck: (And how to avoid these mistakes.)
3. Will suck if you: Use your buddy.
If he happens to have actual wedding photography experience? Fine. Use him. Otherwise, there’s a 99% chance that he will be inadequate. The downside isn’t just mediocre photos—who cares, right?—but awkwardness at the party. There’s a fine art to crowd control, arranging group photos, and knowing the key permutations. A good wedding photographer is good with a crowd, tactful, flattering.
Then again, to play devil’s advocate…IF your buddy’s charismatic and IF your fiancée isn’t that stressed about the photos and IF he can actually snap a good shot…there are worse places to cut corners.
One last compromise: you can have a pro do the ceremony, some formal portraits, and a few key shots that will serve as your “framers”…and then leave the reception to amateurs.
Post # 4
Wouldn’t it be awesome if they had a “Grooms for Dummies” book?!?
Seriously though, most men don’t really have a clue about weddings. You are not alone 🙂
Post # 5
@MissBoPeep: Thanks for that great article! Very helpful for working with photographers in general, and definitely a good point about the awkwardness of photographers arranging crowds and sneaking around for shots. I think SO wanted a “buddy” to avoid the awkward-creeping-photographer element, but then it becomes awkward-creeping-buddy-with-camera lol
Post # 6
@Legallyblondiebride: Haha so true! We should write that, or just print out a stack of Weddingbee posts 🙂
Post # 7
To be honest, a lot of BRIDES don’t know much about weddings. I’d like to see a brides for dummies book too. There are a lot of things you learn along the way. You may just find yourself being the teacher here
Post # 8
Actually I saw something like this!! No kidding. At Men’s Wearhouse, when we did our tuxedo selections, they had a book on the counter that was for grooms about weddings. I can’t remember the title, but maybe if you call a place like that they will have a suggestion. Or just start plugging key words into Amazon?
Post # 9
@hecallsmelove: Definitely true. I know I personally have learned TONS from just lurking on the Bee, like Moissanite! Never heard of it before, and now I’m 99% sure that’s the route we’re taking. So thank you Weddingbee 😀
@atalante: You’re an angel! I think I know what you mean! We were in there last week and I was browsing the “50 Things Every Young Gentlemen Should Know” book. I just checked and they DO have a wedding-related one, “A Gentleman Walks Down the Aisle”:
Has anyone read that or given it to their Fiance to read? There aren’t any reviews for the book on Amazon, although other books by the same author (John Bridges) get decent reviews. This could be the answer, it loooks short & sweet too
Post # 10
Post # 11
I’m not a fan of most books for grooms because they just assume that the groom isn’t involved in the planning. Maybe get a primer for the two of you to read together instead of something that just focuses on tuxes and the bachelor party? That’s what we did and it was incredibly constructive. My Fiance thought weddings were planned in 3 months MAX before!