(Closed) HELP!The pill, condoms, and…?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
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  • Post # 46
    755 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    Another vote for the pill only approach here. I’ve been on it for years with absolutely no problems, and no pregnancy scares. I do remember to take it every day but not at the same time (I do shift work so have zero routine!)

    SO and I used condoms for the first month or so until we’d both had full STI screens and gotten the all-clear, and it’s been pill-only for the 2 years or so since that point.

    If you take the pill correctly it’a over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. There’s not really any need for a second method (but by all means use condoms also if you’re really worried) and there’s certainly no need for your husband to then also pull out. My personal experience has been that sex is a little less enjoyable for us both when using condoms so we decided to ditch them, but do whatever works for you. 

    Don’t stress yourself out too much about this. If you’re unsure about the best way to go then speak to a doctor at your local Sexual Health Clinic to get some information.

    Most importantly – have fun exploring this new stage of your relationship with your new husband!!! 




    Post # 47
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: dont know

    I absolutely despise condoms.  they cause me minor pain which just makes sex pointless so we just use junell birth control pills and sometimes pull out just because it’s less messy that way.

    Post # 48
    84 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m a health educator- I’m not saying that everything I’ll say is totally perfect, but I am pretty up-to-date.  

    Please don’t pull out.  

    First:  It doesn’t work so hot with condoms.  It can make them less effective.  

    Second:  It’s a really crappy method no matter how you slice it.  It’s basically just above nothing, and not way above.  

    Third:  It’s not way above partly because IT SUCKS.  Part of good birth control is that it doesn’t mess with your intimacy, and pulling out really, really messes with your intimacy.  If you’ve waited until marriage to have sex, you deserve the best of sex.  Pulling out?  That is some of the worst of sex.  That’s the good part, the best part, the BEST PART, OH I LOVE Y- oh naw let’s ruin this because oh no babies.  That game is for people who aren’t all there for each other.  You are.  We have better things for you.

    The pill by itself should be fine.  I’ve done the pill for years with no problems.  Best practice is take it (roughly) the same time every day- don’t miss, set an alarm on your phone, have them on you- and know that antibiotics mess with the effectiveness.  Use condoms while you’re on antibiotics and for a few days after.  Talk to your doctor, especially when they prescribe things for you.  (You are doing that anyway, right?  Who are you seeing for the pill?  Did you ask about birth control, or just request the pill?  Doctors and nurse practitioners are awesome!)

    The pill + condoms is highly effective- but so is the pill on its own.  If you and your fiance have had STD tests, or are both virgins and not showing any symptoms(see: websites below), you don’t need to use condoms.  You only need to use them while the pill is taking effect, and you’re good, girl.  Condoms are fine, but they also interfere with intimacy sometimes.  (You did NOT hear me say that.  They’ll take away my condom necklace.) I suggest experimenting with condoms, but not stressing over not using them.

    There are more effective forms of birth control. (More effective because you can’t miss pills and you can’t forget to use condoms while you’re on antibiotics.) Me, I LOVE the shot.  You get a shot every three months, no muss, no fuss.  I had an adjustment period the first three or six months.  Just get your shot regularly and you don’t even need to think about it.  There are also IUDs, even if you haven’t had kids(they can be painful to put in, but there are pain relievers for that, and they are incredibly effective for eight to ten years and you don’t have to schedule anything.  Just make a mental note of the right birthday.)

    These are just a few of the amazing options out there.  Please go talk to your doctor, you can ask them literally anything(ANYTHING!), or feel free to PM me.  Also, feel free to check out some websites:

    http://www.scarleteen.com/ (Aimed at teens, but they have totally solid information from a lot of angles, not just focused on mechanics and preventing behbehs.)

    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control (Always reliable.)

    http://www.avert.org/how-to-have-sex.htm (AVERT is one of the groups my clinic works with.)

    Congratulations!  You’re on the home stretch of saving yourself!  Don’t worry about anything- I know this is a whole new world, no matter how much you’ve read.  I’ve been sluttin’ it up for ten years, and I read EVERYTHING before that and I’m still learning about sex, AND about my body.  Just remember:  Don’t listen to Cosmo EVER, your friends give shitty sex advice, and doctors and nurses have already heard it all- nothing will surprise them, and they want you to ask them anything you don’t know.  You’re gonna do great- and you’ll have kids when you’re ready.  <3

    Post # 49
    84 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  To be fair I don’t think from a medical standpoint, anyone would actually use the word overkill. It’s better to be safe than sorry for some people. It’s their prerogative. People are free to take whatever precautions they feel most comfortable with. Honestly, 1 in 100 women becoming pregnant taking their BC perfectly every time still sounds slightly unnerving to me, those aren’t exactly the best odds. How would you like to be that 1 who gets pregnant?

    As a former nurse and a health educator, dude, it’s overkill if your anxiety/paranoia makes you do things that cause your tactics to be LESS effective.  See:  double-bagging condoms.  Seems smart, actually causes them to break and make babies.  Whee!  One is enough.  But you’re right, it is your prerogative to use both the pill and condoms if you want to.  However, I can think of situations in which that might backfire, too:  if you’re not as vigilant about your pills because you think, well, we use condoms, too, I don’t have to (say) worry about getting home tonight to take my pill… Condoms are nowhere near as effective as the pill.  It’s better to know what you’re doing than let ignorance and misinformation cloud your mind.

    Also, curious as to how pulling out negates a woman’s enjoyment of sex? 

    I personally HATE pulling out.  It ruins it for me.  I’m not everyone, of course, but even if I’ve already climaxed, sex is about more than that.  Plus, I hate the mess.  But for me, pulling out is the devil.  Works for others, not for me.

    P.S. I even recently saw a thread on Weddignbee about how a bee had been taking her birth control pill perfectly, no antiobiotcs, no nothing and she still ended up being pregnant. Others in that thread mentioned knowing women that happened to as well.

    Yes.  This does happen.  Millions of women take the pill.  However, I’m skeptical of those claims, sometimes, if only because I know me and I know other women who have taken the pill, and I know I didn’t take it perfectly and I don’t think my friends took it perfectly.  I’ve never been paranoid about pregnancy, in general, but this is the truth.  (I took the pill for 5 years and had regular, frequent sex with my non-condom-using boyfriend and I never got pregnant or even had a scare, through antibiotics + no condoms because I didn’t know.)  Perfect use is a nearly impossible attainment.  However, making it through your life without having an unwanted pregnancy using just the pill doesn’t require perfect use, fortunately.

    Just my experiences.

    Post # 50
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee

    Personally, I went on BCPs shortly after I became intimate with my Fiance. Innitially we used condoms but we are terrible with them, they almost always broke (I know why but totally TMI), they are uncomfortable for me, and it’s not exactly romantic in the heat of the moment to put one on, as PP mentioned it interferes with intimacy. He has always pulled out, innitially for that extra little bit of insurance and now mostly because I dont like the icky feeling afterward for lack of a better way to describe it. We were very lucky that we didnt have an oops in that first couple months but in the four years since, BCPs in conjunction with pulling out have been completely effective but I am also a near perfect user. I cant imagine feeling the need to use condoms with my husband while on the pill and (personally) would only use them if I was concerned about an STI. If I felt the need for an extra method of BC I would look into those spermicidal films mentioned by PP.

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