Post # 1
So I am having a huge wedding (250 people) and I have 5 bridesmaids – I know – it’s massive don’t get me started. It’s my two sisters and my 3 best friends. Plus my SIL who I love and is like my big sister is also helping out and I want her to be as involved as possible.
Anyway – I am having a Kitchen Tea/ Bridal Shower which my SIL is hosting with the help of my Bridesmaids. That’s all fine and under control and I am so excited for it.
BUT……The Hen’s Night / Bachelorette is proving a huge stress. I am not allowed to know anything about it. Which is fine, I HATE surprises but it’s fine. My Maid/Matron of Honor is taking over and I think is planning the Ulimate Bachelorette party – that would be her dream party!!
The girls have asked me for ideas and what I would like and all but one has taken it on board. I don’t want a trashy night in a gross nightclub with strippers. That’s not me. I would like a nice cocktail lounge or bar and dinner and home at a resonable hour and if I need to have strippers – maybe one or a topless waiter. I also would like an activity as there are so many people and I want them to meet and mingle with each other. I would like a nice lunch or dinner, drinks and bit of a boogie thats it.
She has planned – Stripper / Pole Danincg lessons, shots at a bar, 3x strippers and then clubbing at a brazillian bar into all hours of the morning. Wants everyone to dress up in a costume and well it’s My idea of Hell! The only reason I know about it is because my concerned sister voiced it to me.
What should I do??!!! I don’t want to go if its going to be like that. But I don;t want to hurt their feelings.
Am i being selfish? I am so lucky to have amazing friends to plan this but she is taking over from the other bridesmaids and it’s just not me. I think she has good intentions but shes just a little excited and is planning what she would want to do for hers.
Post # 3
no not at all. I feel the same way about my bachelorette party. I voiced my concerns directly with everyone and everything has seemed to work out fine. I think you should just put it all out there and hopefully they will respect your wishes.
Post # 4
You should absolutely voice your concerns to your bridesmaids. You don’t have to do it in a way that throws your concerned sister under the bus for telling you, but you should definitely have the conversation. The next time you have the majority of the ladies in a room, you could make it sound like you “heard a story” or “saw it on TV” and outline all the things you don’t want. That way, you are putting it out there that you aren’t comfortable with that stuff and you don’t have to feel like you are shooting anyone down. Then again…I’m non-confrontational and you could always go the traditional route and just tell them you heard what *might* be happening and it’s not what you are looking for!
Post # 5
Definitely say something. Subtly drop hints even, mentioning what your idea of hell would be. It sounds like this is her idea of fun and that’s why it’s happening! 3 strippers……oh my God!
Post # 6
I don’t think you’re being selfish – you’re the bride. It sounds as though she’s being the selfish one by planning a bachelorette party that she’s going to enjoy much more than you will. She should be planning around your likes/dislikes, not her own. I think you should speak with her, or have someone else speak with her, to make your wishes known beforehand.
Post # 7
Speak up, and soon! It’s YOUR bachelorette party, not hers, and if this is not your idea of fun then it’s definitely not fair for them to be planning it that way. it’s not selfish to not want a bunch of strippers and to get wasted at your own party! She can have this type of bach party when its her turn.
Post # 8
I agree with the others that say you should voice your concerns to your BMs. It’s your bachelorette party and you should get to do what is fun and enjoyable for you.