(Closed) Hen's Night ruffling my feathers…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

For bachelorette parties here, the bride is the one who doesn’t pay for anything.  The bridal party pays for the bride, and everyone else pays for themselves.  

Post # 4
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

Typically for a hen night, the guests pay and it’s free for the bride. But it should also be organised by the brides friends and a reasonable budget should be agreed on before hand.

I’ve just been through a similar thing, though. £200 for a weekend away and wasn’t asked if I could afford it first. Nightmare.

Post # 5
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@wanderingwild:  Who do you think should pay?  I don’t know the rules in Australia, but in the UK, and I think also US, the hens pay their own way on the hen party, and quite often (not always), contribute towards the bride’s cost. 

Post # 7
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you’re not one of the bridesmaids and it’s too expense you don’t have to go.  Typically everyone pays for themselves and the bride.  I think it would be inappropriate to expect that they pay for you as well. 

Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m from Perth too 🙂 and I’ve had to pay a fee to go to every Hens night I’ve been too. I had to organise one here too and sadly they are expensive like everything else in Perth. $75 is a average fee each for a hens, the Limo is the biggest cost. With the fancy dress part don’t forget to look in op shops, I’ve had my best costum find in them 🙂

Post # 10
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am going on MY hen do in 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeek. SO excited! We are going away to another city for the weekend and I believe it has cost about £180pp but my bridesmaids have bought extra stuff for the hen do. The £180 includes hotel for 2 nights, activity, meals both nights and club entry etc. I thought this was quite reasonable considering others I have been on. I have paid for my own. I understand that a few of the girls can’t come becuase they couldn’t afford it though, which is really sad, but i am REALLY excited!!!!!!!!!!Smile

Post # 11
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I think it’s fine to help contribute to the costs, and the only one who shouldn’t have to pay is the bride.

Post # 12
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@wanderingwild:  I get what you mean with parties – usually it is rude to ask guests to pay, but Hen and Stag seem to be excluded from this rule…  Are you in the wedding party?  If not, I wouldn’t worry abut going, OR you can say that you won’t use the limo (Make an excuse – you have a prior commitment so will meet the rest of the party at the venue), so this would help you cut costs.

Post # 13
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t quite see who else should pay at a hen do?  The bride isn’t throwing the party, so you can’t expect her to pay, and I can’t imagine why you’d expect the bridemaids/maid of honour to pay when they’re pretty much organising something out of expectation rather than anything else.  I’ve always paid my own way at hen parties, the most recent one cost me about £200 including travel, but it was my choice whether or not to go.  If you can’t afford it or resent spending the money, then just don’t go!

Post # 14
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

I find it similar to ‘going out for drinks’ for a friends birthday. The friend doesn’t buy all the drinks for her guests, but if you can’t afford it you don’t go! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

My Bachelorette is tomorrow night. It’s totally normal for the bridal party, Maid/Matron of Honor, and other attendees to pay for the night. 75$ seems really reasonable to me. As for the dress, do you have to buy something new or could you wear something you already have?

Post # 16
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

Remember it is an invitation, not a summons.  If you can’t rent the costume, then don’t go. Though, there are also loads of costumes that can be done for cheap or free.

 

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