Post # 1
My SO was engaged before.
Its not a secret and I’m not bothered by this fact. They got engaged young and essentially their break up meant that a few years later he would become my SO.
He recently showed me the e ring that he bought her. We are on the brink of our own engagement and I have a feeling that the sale of / or break down of this ring will contribute to ours. Again, this isn’t something that causes any problems between us, we are just being realistic.
However, demand for a second hand ring isn’t great, I’ve had a look around and the chances of getting nearly close to what the “value” of the ring is worth is slim.
I really don’t like the setting but I think the diamond is so pretty.
My question really is hypothetical as he wants to get a brand new ring, but I’m coming round to the idea of using the diamond from that ring in a completely new setting, to save cost and to be economical, how personal is a diamond- on its own?
So fellow bees. would you need a “new” diamond for your ring?
Post # 3
I think it’s very mature of you to think this way. If it doesn’t bother you, then it shouldn’t bother anyone else. Nobody else would even need to know.
Post # 4
I have my previous engagement ring… I asked my Fiance if we should use the diamonds from it to save money and he refused to even use the money we could get from selling it to put towards a new ring… I don’t know why I think it’s fine as long as it’s not the same ring going from 1 persons hand to the next lol.
Well now he owes $4000 to a jewelry store so it’s his loss… I say go for it use the diamond and create your dream setting =)
Post # 5
Do you know where he got the ring from? A co-worker was engaged before and they took her ring back to the same jeweler, he allowed them to “trade-up” to a different ring altogether.
Post # 6
I think that’s a brilliant idea, and I wouldn’t have a problem with it either. Especially if that means you can have your dream ring. In the end, you’re going to spend that money somewhere—whether it’s on your e-ring, or your wedding band, or the wedding, or the honeymoon, or a house…
BTW–we bought my diamond used, and we paid the seller FAR less than what it was worth (he gave us the receipt where he paid $6300 and we paid $1900). He just couldn’t unload it, and it’s over a full carat, colorless, and no inclusions, and certified. So….yeah…I definitely think your potential SO would have to take a loss on it if he sold it….
Post # 7
You could take it to Jareds, Kay, or JB Robinson. All of those stores accept “foreign” trade-ins; meaning they’ll take rings from other stores. The downside is you have to get a ring double the value of the ring you’re trading in. If you get one less than double the value, they’ll only take half off the new ring. I’m suggesting this as an option in case he really wants to get you a new ring.
If you do go that route, make sure you don’t pay full price for whatever ring you buy. Except for the exception of a few items, the sales people can almost always take an additional 20% off jewelry–50% off gold chains…
Post # 7
I agree with the other posters, use it if you want to! If it doesn’t bother you then it shouldn’t matter. Plus, you’ll get a new setting which will make it your own 🙂
Post # 8
I think it’s the smartest thing to do, unless HE has a problem with it. In that case, you don’t want that much stigma surrounding what’s on your finger- buy a new one & pass that ring down to your children one day.
Post # 9
milesbella– thank you for your thoughts… My SO seems to have it in his head that needs to go into the red for my ring and I couldn’t disagree more. I’d rather have the setting of my dreams than a ring that came fresh from the shop, which isn’t, in my OP any more precious.
HappilyEverAfter54 – This is exactly how my so feels. I feel abit sick about the idea of having this ring worth a couple of K just sitting there when he wants to splash out all over again.
june42011– We know the store it was from but it was a good few years ago, I’m not sure how open they would be to that option, maybe I should suggest it?
Post # 10
If it doesn’t bother either of you then go for it! I personally would want a completely different ring, but that’s just me. Go for it!
Post # 11
If you have the finances to get another ring, then I would do that. I would NOT be okay if I knew it was someone elses before, regardless. I would always have the thought in the back of my mind and it would drive me nuts.
You could buy a new ring and use the diamond to make a pendant for yourself or like PP said pass it down to your children one day, theyll never know the story unless you tell them.
I would get a new ring if you can financially do it. Or tell your SO to do what he wants and what you don’t know won’t hurt, if we goes the route of using it.
Post # 12
Thanks all, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. More now than ever would I be ok with using this diamond. Just had a look at it and I don’t see “her” in it, I just think, ahhh its so pretty!
Post # 13
I think that’s great if you can look past it and reuse the stone. Did she pick it out, or did he? My SO was engaged before too, but she wouldn’t give the ring back. I’ve thought about it though and I’d probably be ok using the same center stone, as long as it’s in a new setting, it’s the practical thing to do. But I know my SO would never have wanted any part of her ring on me, it might be best to start fresh if it bothers him, even if he does have to spend twice the amount, it might be worth it?
Post # 14
Go for it! Do what makes you happy and used the saved cash on something great for a wonderful wedding for the two of you!
Post # 15
I didn’t really know how to vote because while I personally would not be okay with it, I think we all have varying levels of how much sentimentality we attach to things, and mine is on the higher end. So while I can’t imagine reusing the ex’s stone, that doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t.
But do you really actually love the stone though? If it’s not even your style (shape or whatever other specs you would have wanted), and you’re just telling him to reuse it solely for the sake of saving money, I worry you might regret your choice. You want to love your ring for a lifetime. Maybe keep that in mind when you decide.