@abbie017: If you HAVE AAA. I mean, COME ON. Who the FK wants to deal with THAT?! But you’re right, she doesn’t even have to lie. I think it’s ridiculous to expect a girl to drive 12 hours out of the next 24 to attend someones wedding. She can just call up the bride and say, “A few weeks ago, I thought I could drive 6 hours alone while pregnant, but now I’m not feeling too hot and I can’t. I’m really sorry, I feel terrible, but I just can’t make the trip. I feel awful for missing your wedding and I hope I can make it up to you somehow.”
The wedding on Saturday isn’t a 12-hour roundtrip drive away.
Her husband was victimized for his race. I don’t exactly blame him for saying he wouldn’t go. While my Fiance would never let me drive 6 hours alone, either, I’m sure the circumstances would be different if he was of a different race and some people were bashing him for it.
OP, don’t let these girls guilt trip you into going. You didn’t sign your life away when you RSVPed yes. You made a mistake when you RSVPed yes and now you have to make up for it. A majority of these posters are mostly concerned with the fact that the bride paid for your head more than anything else. Just send a VERY GENEROUS gift and call it a day.
As for all the posters who are saying this girl won’t be your friend anymore because she shouldn’t have to understand you cancelling last minute, then that girl is selfish and an idiot, in which case you shouldn’t even want to be friends with her. Granted, she came to your wedding which was just as far for her as her wedding is for you, but I think you have a valid reason for not going. And if she can’t understand that she’s going to have some last minute cancellations, then she’s not being realistic.
Besides, it seems from your original post that she wasn’t that close of a friend anymore and that you were put off by some of her comments. While I disagree that her saying she was excited to see your venue and decor was upsetting (honestly, I love weddings and I love going to my friend’s weddings, but a main reason is because I love to see their visions come to life and that was before I was even planning my own wedding), it seems that the friendship is on the outs anyway. If she stops being friends with you because you missed her wedding, then that’s INSANE. Absolutely INSANE.
Also, I’ve never been pregnant before, but everyone has a different pregnancy. I know a girl in the hospital right now at 24 weeks pregnant because she might go into premature labor. I know another girl who is still working at 20-something weeks. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. The fact that these posters are saying that you should feel fine at 24 weeks is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous because they have NO IDEA what your pregnancy is like.
Do not listen to these girls. If you don’t want to go, call the bride, tell her you can’t make it, apologize, send a really, really nice card with a long thoughtful letter about how genuinely happy you are for her and how much you love her as a friend, send a generous check and call it a day. If you lose the friendship over this, honestly, the friendship wasn’t worth keeping to begin with.