Post # 1
So, here is our story. We are made for each other and started talking about our futures six months into dating. A year later, Mr.P took me to the park for a serious talk. (All serious talks take place on a park bench) The main point was that he wanted to marry me and if he was going to Vet school it would make the most sense for us to get married before (2 years away from Vet school at that point). I had always felt that I should be out of school before I got married but he made a convincing argument and I was and am so sure about marrying him that I changed my mind and decided to go for it. We started to talk about when, the when depended heavily on when we could afford it, when we could afford it depended on what it would cost. So we started planning our wedding to get an idea of cost. We decided that it could happen Spring 2011. At first it was strange that it was a real thing happening, not just an idea anymore.
Problem: Mr. P doesn’t think an engagement should last longer than a year.
So, I patiently waited and its almost Spring 2010, almost proposal time. I even helped him pick out the ring. I was ready.
New Problem: Mr. P decided to go to grad school instead of Vet school so we don’t have to get married so soon.
Ok, but I was so excited to finally be engaged. The wedding is already planned basically and the ring has been choosen…Sad…Mr. P said that it would give us more time to save and I could have what I want and not have to worry about budgeting so much.
Am I being silly to still want to do it sooner?
Post # 3
If you are ready, go for it! Unless having a huge expensive wedding is really important to you guys, I don’t see why not.
Post # 4
According to my salary as a grad student, I would have it sooner rather than later. I don’t think that you’ll be able to save too much more, and everything is already planned.
Post # 5
I’d have it sooner, too. Yeah, with more money, you could worry less about budget… but that argument could also get you to push back the date every year, because with each year comes more money, and lets face it: there will ALWAYS be bigger, more expensive, etc. Once married, all that extra money can go towards your life together (house, kids, travel, etc) instead of going for the wedding. Even more exciting.
Everything is planned and if you were happy with those plans, go marry the man of your dreams, don’t push it back.
Post # 6
Waiting to have a nice wedding is silly. We’re in the same situation. He is in med school and I’m finishing up a second degree. I could have a dream wedding in 3 years, but screw that. Its been 5 years and we’re ready… so small Oct 2010 wedding, here we come! I mean really… we’ll be spending our money elsewhere as husband and wife by that time. 🙂
Post # 7
Also a grad student, and boyfriend is heading towards grad school also, so I hear you on this. The idea of waiting till we’re actually, you know, making money and can afford to have a beautiful wedding is enticing.
But the cold hard truth about being a grad student – after all that debt, you’re NEVER gonna be in a position to easily afford a lavish wedding. So why not get married when you really want to get married?
*scratch previous paragraph if you’re a trust-fund kid or going to school to be a corporate litigator or plastic surgeon or similar.