(Closed) Here we go…people reacting to their missing invite

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh yeah! I had a lady who is friends with my Dad that I have not seen since I was like 10 post on FB wall that she better be getting an invitation. My cousins on my Mom’s side are coming out of the wood work looking for inviations and stirring up all kind of trouble all over the place. It’s difficult to deal with everyone’s demands…

Post # 4
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have recieved several RSVP’s back and people just write other people on them… If the invite wasn’t addressed to you than I’m sorry but you aren’t coming. I’ve also recieved “I’m still waiting for my invite” on my FB wall. I just get in contact with the people and try to put it nicely taht because of our venue we couldn’t invite everyone.

Post # 5
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I haven’t yet had to deal with anything, but I’m getting nervous about it. We have some guests who are now in relationships who I think are expecting to get plus ones for. And these are people who have been perpetually single/casual daters, so we didn’t even think it was a possibility that they would be in relationships by the time our wedding came around. I’m already dreading the “I’m sorry we created the list MONTHS ago and can’t afford these extra guests” response I have ready.

We are already WAY over the number of guests we are comfortable inviting (aka couldn’t afford if they all came) as it is (eek).

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I didn’t go through this but my friend did! About a month before her wedding disgruntled ex coworkers and distant relatives started complaining and asking where their invites were. She told people “If we had unlimited funds, time and space, everyone would be invited. But we don’t.”

Weddings aren’t cheap people! And they don’t plan themselves either.

Post # 7
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can’t wait for this!! (Read: sarcasm)

This is very, very typical for my parents’ friends. My mom herself has asked where her invite was for a friend’s wedding. Yup. 

My parents have already started spreading the word that it’s a small wedding and not to expect an invitation. 

Post # 8
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We didn’t really have any complaints before the wedding, but after the wedding we heard from a couple people who weren’t invited.

A picture was posted and tagged to my DH’s facebook and one of his old highschool buddies posted “thanks for the invite”.

There were a few reasons we didn’t invite him. The first time I met him we came home from running errands and he was randomly seated on our front step with a mickey of vodka and just… wanted in our house!

The next time I met him he was drinking a BIG GULP filled with vodka and proceeded to tell me that HE would be the MC at our wedding. Asked if my BIL (who introduced Darling Husband and I) was going to be the MC and that he was going to force BIL not to and he would MC because he is WAY funnier than BIL.

Uhm. no you did not just invite yourself to my wedding and make yourself our MC. We’re not even HAVING an MC. So, I left his drunk ass out of our invite list.

Post # 9
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

DH’s cousin (who we didn’t know was dating someone and whose whole family was invited) had his mom call my Father-In-Law and the message was “I’m not coming if I can’t bring a date.” I wanted to strangle the kid — he had regular contact with Darling Husband and could have politely asked himself. We let him bring a date, but the whole way it was handled really irritated me. 

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry you’re having to deal with that! Luckily we didn’t have anyone say anything like this to us, mostly because I caved to nearly all guest list requests. Granted, we weren’t dealing with such a large list. But before we sent invites out I did have FMIL’s cousin post on FSIL’s facebook asking when the wedding was, and when she told her responded that she was saving the date. Thank god she never posted or called when she wasn’t invited – if we started inviting parents cousins’ our list would of went from 150 to 275 once you add on spouses, no joke (my mom has between 40 and 50 of them!)

But DH’s cousinw as recently married, and it was a small wedding. Darling Husband was a bit miffed to not be invited after Future Mother-In-Law made us invite said cousin to our wedding. I reminded him that some peole actually stick to their plans of a small wedding and don’t just let their mom invite whoever they want, and he hadn’t cared if his cousin came anyways…and he dropped it. lol. But one very rude fmaily member who RSVPed for our wedding and never showed up, when Future Mother-In-Law posted pics from the other wedding had the nerve to comment ont he pictures with, “Whose wedding was this? Oh yeah, the one no one bothered to invite us to.” People are unbelievable.

Post # 11
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I keep stareing at my save the dates knowing that as soon as I send them out I am going to start getting the questions. We are having a 15 person wedding, but could have easily gone to 150 or more people so yeah I am going to have a lot of upset people to deal with… yay! (not!)

Post # 12
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t put anything about the wedding on facebook because I’m so afraid of people asking for invites…

Only one so far, and entire group of people that is FI’s step-grandfathers family.  Right now we are just umm…ignoring the issue. 

Post # 13
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@accorn:  SAME!  I deliberatley tried to not put anything on FB because of invite-beggers. 

Then, before I went dress shopping I told my Fiance I was so nervous and afraid I would be ugly etc.  So, my Fiance logged onto my FB and posted a status saying “So nervous!  Trying on wedding dresses today!”

I guess my Fiance thought people would comment saying “Oh youre beautiful, you have nothing to worry about”

What actually happened?  Over 10 “WHERES MY INVITE?!” from people I haven’t talked to in 5-6 years. 

 

Yeahhhh.  Weddings and FB don’t mix 

Post # 14
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m so sorry I’m dreading the same thing.I’m only having 75 ppl and have a huge family that I haven’t seen in years,my sister excitedly put on her fb how she can’t wait till march for the wedding and not even min up she got bombarded with messages!! One particularly from a cousin who has the biggest mouth ever she asked if the whole family is invited!! Fiance cousin who totally hated me when we were going out had the nerve to ask if she can be a bridesmaid!! Uhmm hell no! Then she told Future Sister-In-Law last nite that Fiance better go up north and invite the whole family personally including her!!! Some people just don’t get it.

Post # 16
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If this wasn’t so stressful and we weren’t all going through it I’d actually probably think it was really funny.  If it makes you guys feel better, our invite list is about 260 people and I kid you not I have about 7 friends in life.  Total.  As in, it was hard for me to even come up with a guest list.  Apparently my mom is a lot more popular than I am.  Seven!  To two hundred and sixty!

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