Post # 1
Ok, 2 weeks ago my SO gave me a timeline of his birthday next year (so March 2013). He also said that it probably wouldn’t take him that long to make a move, and he was just giving me a date even though he knows that I won’t believe anything he says until the ring is firmly in place (and he’s right). We have a big trip to Hawaii coming up on our 7 year anniversary, but I’m TRYING SO HARD not to get my hopes up…because honestly, if it doesn’t happen then, I’ll be devastated.
So anyway, we had that chat 2 weeks ago…and during that talk we also talked about rings. I.LOVE.JEWELRY…so much. I used to work in a jewelry store and I know my stuff when it comes to diamonds. He said that we could go looking together in the city, and we did look online a little that day and I was trying to give him some basic vocab to work with. But since then, he hasn’t said anything or asked me anything about rings. I went to a Zales outlet the other day at lunch to check out the rings and I emailed him a joking pic of a terribly ugly ring, just to let him know I’m looking around…but still nothing! I’m getting anxious. LOL. I also want to know what the budget so I can look for rings that aren’t going to break the bank.
So, my question is: after you get the timeline, is that the green light to just go nuts looking? Should I just email him some ideas that I like and then let it go? what do I do?? I feel like I’m going insane…all I do all day is look at rings..I dont want to scare him off or make him feel pressured, but September is right around the corner! Help!
Post # 3
If you’re really knowledgeable and he’s not, he might be intimidated if you try to discuss the 4 c’s, metal options and whatever else all at once. Maybe set up a day to go look at rings and just leave it at that. Once you do that, don’t discuss again or email pictures. Do you know how much guidance from you he wants? You also don’t want to take away the element of surprise IF he wants that.
Post # 5
@Jenlon: “Does he know that picture was a joke? You probably really want to make sure he knows that :)”
Exactly! That was my FIRST thought when I read the OP’s post! 🙂
Post # 6
@purpledaisies: Hinting with men, never a good idea. They really need to be told what you want in plain English so that you don’t a.) hate what he gets for you and b.) he doesn’t feel soo pressured by the cost he goes and gets a second job. But I’d definatly say its a green light. Go Go Go! 🙂
Post # 7
Oh yeah he knows it was a joke. I should post it here so you guys can see how bad it was. I flat out told him it was a joke. I think he wants to keep an element of surprise because i asked him if he wanted my input and his only comment was “is that traditional?” LOL but since he mentioned going to the jewelry district, I’m hoping that I still get some input. I just don’t want to freak him out..I also told him that if he didn’t want my input to talk to my mom. I think I’m just overly excited because this is actually going to happen at some point before I drop dead 🙂 I honestly don’t think that we’ll ever actually go shopping together, and I’m OK with that because I already have a clear idea of what I do want, I just don’t know how to tell him. hehehe maybe I need to just give myself some more time. Maybe I’ll just give him a list of options so he can pick for himself, that way he gets to surprise me but it’ll be with one of my own choices. Would asking him when/if he wants to go looking be appropriate, or should he be asking me when I want to go?
Post # 8
I echo the pp that said he might be a bit intimidated by the fact that you know a lot about diamonds and jewelry.
I’m the same way, and SO likes me educate him on diamonds every now and then. We’re not planning to be engaged for a while, but he had asked me if I would explain diamonds and my preferences to him little by little.
We’ve actually gone into a few jewelry stores before, and he’s really funny. He’ll grab a seat while I ask to see a few stones. Then if I see one he likes, he comes over and looks with me. He said that he doesn’t want to look at everything up close so that he remembers only the stones/ring styles I like. 🙂
Post # 9
Well as a small update…when he gave me the green light to go looking, he also mentioned possibly going with me to look at some rings in the jewelry district in the city…so I asked him about it today and he pulls the tradition card on me! SOOOO, I guess I’ll just have to be surprised. That stresses me out….even though I love surprises…the ring is not really something that I wanted to be totally surprised about. I was hoping that I’d at least get to try stuff on to really figure out what does/doesn’t look good. I wanted to have that experience of shopping with him; I thought it would have been a fun thing to do…oh well I guess.
I can’t lie, I’m disappointed, but I just laughed it off and dropped it.
So, is it OK to email him a few pics just to steer him in the right direction? I mean the thing is that I’m not even 100% and the few things that I have tried on didn’t really do anything for me, so I’m not sure I want to email him pic of rings that I didn’t try on…what if they don’t look right? YES, I know I’m WAY over thinking this! I sound ridiculous and I know it. I’m just venting because I’m bummed that it seems like I’m not going to get the experience of looking together for the ring….