- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I know venting won’t really get me anywhere, It’s not going to put the ring on my finger either, but sometimes it just helps… so trust me! I don’t blame anyone if they don’t want to read this 🙂
Its the same thing, over and over, waiting sucks.. i’m just rattling off things that have been on my mind the past few days..
so i used/ snooped (a tiny bit) on SO’s computer… he was looking at rings again, but for some reason he thinks that the only place he can get a ring is in the Diamond district in NYC and i don’t think he’ll change his mind on that.. no matter what i say.. but what bothers me about his searching is that all he’s been looking up (that i can tell) is these insanly expensive rings, every page he looked at was $14,000 or higher (besides one for $3,500.) and HE IS NOT spending that kind of money on a ring.. i already know he can’t/won’t. (and i wouldn’t want him too…. so by him seeing these prices its only going to pro-long the search even further… and also i don’t know when he’ll ever get a day to actually go in to the city with his work scheduel and all of the other things we have going on for the next 4 months.
right now he is away for work in Baltimore… it would be perfect! (in my opinion) for him to be looking there…
I know this sounds incredibly selfish, and heartless, but i also have it in my head that my only other close cousin who isn’t engaged or married is going to get engaged while she’s away on vaca this week…
i feel awful just typing it out right now… obviously i would be so happy for her! i know how badly she wants to be engaged to her SO too… but i can’t help feeling bummed or jealous if it does happen… not only because i want it so bad, but also because this guy she’s with is a little bit of a prick…and she’s younger than me.. still pretty young in general and a little immautre… they broke up for 6 months and just recently (march) got back together… they werent getting along because they didnt share the same interests and she never really wanted to do anything.. big couch potato 😉 and he’s the opposite of that… then he also was hanging out with another woman behind her back! and when she found out about it and asked him to stop he said no.. he doesnt want to stop seeing her (he swore nothing happened between the two of them but refused to stop.. even refused to invite my cousin along with them when they did hang out)… shady?? huh??
requardless… i would be a little bummed…
Pinterest! all i do is look at wedding themes, colors, yada yada and its rediculous! i’m not oblivious to the fact that this is only going to make me feel worse about not being engaged but i still can’t control myself! 😉 hahaha… its bad when work is slow!
Then i notice that my good friend who ACTUALLY IS getting married next summer has all the same ideas and interests that i have in wedding decore! and i was actually upset thinking “i want to do that! damnit! i want a vintage themed wedding and now Margot is going to have all the same things at her wedding that i want to have at mine and then when i do it everyone will think i copied Margot!”
and this is a little immature and insane since she has a wedding she has to plan and i don’t even have a ring on my finger!
haha.. and frankly it sucks, but i also have no right to be upset at all that she’s doing these things..
I’m sorry i promise its almost over but i do have one more rant…
SO has brought up babies TWICE in the past 3 weeks, and how he wants to have a baby within 2 years….2 years! (and we both want to be married and have a home (not a rented one bedroom shack) before this happens…SO WHAT IS HE WAITING FORRRRRR!!!???? Both times ive said to him “well a few things need to happen first before we plan out a baby”
he just says oh i know, and oh we will, soon,… ok soon?? you’ve been saying soon for about 10 months now =/
its just all very frustrating.. as so many of you know and can relate to these things…
I’m giving it untill October 31st… if it doesnt happen by then i’m going to go from bummed and saddened and anxious to extremely pissed off!
Our anniversary is Oct 12th.. i think it would be so lovely if it happened then… but if not then on or around halloween… because i’m in love with and obsessed with halloween :)… we’re planning a trip to New Orleans that week as well so that would be a great opportunity! i know he wants it to be a special date… so i can wait (unpatiently) untill then.. but if it dosent happen around that time then i’m seriously going to be thinking WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR THEN…
IF any of you lovely ladies read the ramblings of my very hormonal, very mis spelling, babbling BS then i thank you!! oh so very much! Its been great getting this crap off my chest… and please don’t think i’m too much of a monster with all the cousin stuff… i mean well…