- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
@Ms.Peach: Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes we fight though and it can make things better, but then again we fight about little things pretty frequently and it just stirs more stuff up. We manage to get through it all and we have our good and bad days, its just a hassle to deal with the bad days. lol
@ArwenBride: Yes, we’ve actually tried communicating like that before. We would sit down, tell each other how we felt without interrupting, but he just still…wouldnt “get it”. He wanted me to understand where he was coming from, and I did, I made sure to put myself in his shoes, but he would neglect to do the same for me. He wouldn’t take the time to understand where I was coming from but instead focus on him “being the victim”. Now, its not always this way, sometimes he gets it right away and realizes how much of an a$$ he’s being, but sometimes its just like there’s no understanding until he sits back for a couple hours and thinks about everything he’s said to me, then he realizes what he’s done. Just like tonight…he had called while I went out with my mom later in the evening. He called to sincerely appologize and said that he felt awful for what he did today and I said it was okay, he said “no, its not okay, Im really sorry. I’ll give you a footrub later when I get home from work” haha! So sometimes I just have to be upset and not talk to him for awhile and let him sit and think about what he’s done…kind of like a kid sometimes. lol!
@Treasure34: We have been engaged for a year, so it’s all happened since we’ve gotten engaged, but a lot has happened since we got engaged as well. Right after we got engaged hus grandma passed away which was an extreme time for him since he was so close to her, plus some debt issues he was dealing with, his new job, transitioning from his parents house to living with me and my mom, so I think he’s overwhelmed and has been for a while now, he’s just not communicating it to me is my guess.
@Soon2bSuttle: I know right?! But I totally understand, and I think that is what needs to happen here. He needs to talk to me about his stress and being overwhelmed with everything because I know he is. I’ve tried getting him to talk about it before but he kind of brushes it off, changes the subject or when we talk about everything it turns into something about us again. ugh. lol But instead of opening up to me and telling me the stresses from work, he focuses on the little things that are “going wrong with us” and makeing them into a huge deal, like picking a place to eat. So he definitely channels his stress on me, and I’m guilty of it too, but I will get him to sit down with me and talk soon because I definitely dont want the big fights, especially when they are over petty things.
@linquo42: I get what you’re saying totally. I know that he needs to have a reason for transferring his bad mood onto me and I need to call him out on it, but at the same time I’m afraid that will cause a spark and cause more problems. lol But yes, I know he has anxiety. We both do. We are unable to get helped with it though due to money, I deal with mine as best as I can because I have to, I have no other choice, but anxiety problems run in his family, and I have awful anxiety about certain things as well. I think I’m better at dealing with it than he is at times, and I do think that his anxiety along with stress and being overwhlemed and what not is a trigger to take things out on me. But then again, it’s still not cool. lol