(Closed) He's called of our wedding

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@hayley1978:  he’s stringing you along. if marriage means that much to you and he can’t give you one, then you should know your answer. If you are willing to stay without marriage, that’s your choice too.

question is, are you going to regret it. 

Post # 4
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@hayley1978:  You definitely don’t stay with a man who has lied to you about wanting to get married.

Post # 5
Member
4961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry you’re going through this. Frown

if he doesn’t want to get married, he’s not going to. If he sees that marriage is extremely important to you, and won’t do it for you even if it’s not important to him well… sorry to say, but that would spell it out pretty clearly for me.

If you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship, move on. 

Post # 7
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would leave him.  He lied to you so that you would take him back.  And, he strung you along and let you believe that he wanted a marriage.   You’re fortunate enough to learn of this early on; I would hate to see him stand you up during your wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
4961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hayley1978:  He’s 49.. how old are you? Has he said why he doesn’t want to get married? Have you told him why it’s important to you? 

Post # 10
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not wanting to get married is one thing. You can decide whether or not you’re okay with being in a long term relationship without marriage, and either accept it or move on.

But actually booking a wedding and not letting you tell anyone about it and then taking it back? That’s beyond the pale. I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who could do something like that. 

Post # 11
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

hell no. walk

Post # 12
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sounds like he is not opposing marriage but he is oposing marriage currently to you. All was nice and quiet till it go real and then he broke it off. 

I would leave.

My ex told me the same thing. That he wasn’t ready yet and did see us getting married in the future just not now. We were together for 7.5 years. I broke it off… Later it turned out that he was cheating on me and hence wasn’t ready. Now surprise he is engaged to a girl that he was cheating on me with …. apparently she made him propose, threatening to leave… i guess he bacame ready quick LOL

Post # 13
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t say he’s stringing you along. Obviously, he wants to make you happy.

But obviously, not getting married is something he feels strongly about.

You want to get married, he doesn’t.

I’d thank him for all the years of love and happiness and find someone who has marriage as a priority.

Post # 14
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Only you can decide if it’s worth walking away from an otherwise happy relationship over his desire to not marry.  No one here can answer that. Some couples can be happily committed and live together for decades without marriage (ask almost any long-term gay couple in America about that— is their love or commitment any less real because they don’t have the option to marry?). Some can’t.  Sit down and decide for yourself if the benefits of staying with this man without being married outweigh the negatives.

On one hand, you may forever remain bitter and disappointed if you stay with him and he never decides he wants to marry; on the other hand, you may walk away and always wish you hadn’t.  Only you can decide which is the greater risk, or which is the better chance to take.

Post # 15
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hayley1978:  Did he actually give you the engagement ring five years ago or has he been holding it over your head this whole time? If has never given you the ring it sounds like he has been stringing you along by telling you what you want to hear.

Post # 16
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@hayley1978:  Find someone who treats you better. It shouldn’t be too difficult.

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