(Closed) He's dropping more hints ..I think!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would bring it up. If it is something that is important to you, there is no use in hiding your feelings. There is a difference between pressuring (e.g., “We have to get engaged now, or I’m gone”) and talking about what you’re thinking (e.g., “Ideally I’d like to be married in about three years. What do you think”). Good luck! I’m sure a conversation about this would go smoothly.

Post # 4
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Ah, I’m so glad someone else is in this boat! My SO and I are having the talk over the next week or so. I think @elle_z is totally right – there’s a difference between pressure and honesty. It’s perfectly reasonable – and important – to talk about your – and his – needs and expectations.

 

Good luck! Let us know how you get on Smile

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bring it up if you want! You’re an equal partner in the relationship – there is NO reason why you have to wait for him to bring it up – he already kind of has anyways..

Post # 7
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

Im in the same spot. SO and I already have discussed moving in together next year…but no real “lets get married in xyz time” talk. He brought up 2 very small convos recently- once saying he wants a small beach wedding (which is EXACTLY) what I want, and another time joking that we should elope.

I have NO CLUE how to bring up the talk…do you have ideas on what you want to say??

 

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Thanks! It’s a combination of us both bringing it up – there’s a possible LD move in our future, he has asked me to come with him. A few weeks ago he let slip that he’d been thinking about proposing. For a variety of reasons I want to talk about a few things before we take that step, so I asked if we could talk about things, and he has suggested this week (he’s away till tomorrow). 

TBH I hadn’t really thought about a proposal as something to expect in the next year to eighteen months until he said he was thinking about it. So I think it’s pretty important we talk. But the more I think about it the more excited I get!

Post # 10
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I was here 2 months ago lol I brought up the topic of marriage to my boyfriend of 3 years for the first time. I’m 23 and he’s 25. A few of our friends were getting engaged and married or talking about these things and he started making jokes that got the ball rolling in my head lol That’s when I joined this site. 

I thought about the whole idea of talking to him for maybe a week and then I couldn’t hold it anymore lol I combined a bunch of the advice I got from other bees here, and put it all together and presented it to him at the end of a hang-out night. 

I just said that we’ve been joking about a certain topic for a little while now, but we’ve never actually talked about it seriously. Then I just plain out asked if he could see us getting married in the future. A couple of weeks prior to this I also asked him where he sees himself in 5 years. That conversation excluded me completely. In this conversation I made sure that we discussed “us” and “our” plans, not just our own plans as individuals. 

We set a timeline that we both agreed on. It’s not very specific (he said he could see himself proposing in a year or 2). But it sounds like your SO is much more serious about the topic now. I think what he’s been doing in his head counts as extreme hinting lol Though to you it just seems subtle. I think he would be relieved if you brought it up first, and that’s probably what he’s waiting for, since you said he is very shy. (My SO is too. It took him 3 weeks of us hanging out every single night to kiss me, and a couple of more weeks to make it “official.”)

Good luck and let us know how it turns out =]

(It’s not as scary as you think! lol I mean I was terrified when I did it, but the outcome was a lot better and way more positive than I expected lol)

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