Post # 1
Not even pregnant yet but already planning ahead. We want like 3 or 4 and been picking out baby names already. We have planned for 2 boys and 2 girls and of course if that doesnt happen we’ll worry about that then. The problem is, the names he’s been picking he is super instant on getting and wont take any of mine. So far I’ve only gotten 1 of my picks for a boy which is Nicholas. But before that he insists our first boy to be his pick, Ethan (after Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible!) So that means if we only ever have 1 boy, my pick is out. Then I’ve been wanted forever to have a girl named Sara. Thats my middle name and thats what my mom wanted to name me really bad but he keeps saying he doesnt really care for it and maybe have it for a middle name again. His choice for a middle name is Katie which I dont like at all cause I use to have a friend with that name who ended up a real b**** and I think of that everytime I hear that name which I’ve told him, but again he’s really insistant on it. I know as the father he gets say and needs to be happy with the babies names too but as the mom I get some say too and I should be allowed some of my picks! any ideas how i can get him to comprimise to my side?
Post # 3
I think if you aren’t allowed to have your top names then neither should he. I would also say, don’t worry about it until you are actually pregnant. You never know, by that time his names may have grown on you and vice versa…
I had something similar with my husband wanting his middle name as our (hypothetical) son’s first name….I am still dubious because I have relatives and friends with the name but it is growing on me.
Post # 4
@jbbs1222: I think once he witnesses you going through the hard work of pregnancy and birth, he will come around.
But it’s not worth worrying about right now. People can change their minds. He could meet a huge jerk named Ethan tomorrow!
Post # 5
This seems a little out of place. By the time that even becomes an issue, you might both have completely differant ideas on baby names. I think you are just borrowing trouble, honestly.
Post # 6
I think each person gets a veto vote. If he doesnt like it, then its a no-go. If you dont like it then its a no-go.
You both have to agree. He or you can be as pushy or insistent as you want to be, but both people still have to agree.
OR come to an agreement. He gets to choose the first kids name if you choose the second kids name (within reason of course)
Post # 7
@remijp: Or he might not even like Mission Impossible anymore!
Post # 8
@jbbs1222: What I did was compromise. I told him that although I held veto power over any name I absolutely hated, he could name the first child, but that meant I got to name the second. He had the same veto rights, but otherwise, it was all on me.
It worked for us, but YMMV.
Post # 9
Nope, not fair… But also, please don’t fight about this until you are pregnant.
Fiance wants son #1 to have his name, same as his fathers name. I hate FI’s name, he will get made fun of for it if he uses the first initial with a “J” for junior. FI’s mom has even chimed in about it, saying it’s a family name. Ummm no. It’s not, my Fi has it and his father.
If your man can put his foot down about it, so can you. In your case, the two of you may need to trash “your names” and decide on new ones together.
Post # 10
@Korenne: “Borrowing trouble” – I love that phrase!
OP, I really wouldn’t worry about baby names right now – you both might feel very different when the time comes. I would, however, be concerned about your SO’s feelings about compromise. Is compromise something that he struggles with in other areas? It’s definitely an important relationship skill, so that might be something you both want to examine moving forward.
Post # 11
I think this is a game that needs to stop. Why all the drama about something that isn’t even close to happening yet?
Post # 12
@jbbs1222: I think you should wait until you are expecting and tackle the name issue one at a time. Set out some ground rules that you both need to agree on a name.
Post # 13
I agree you should worry about this once you are pregnant. By then I would say compromise.
Say if you want 4 kids he gets to pick 2 and you get to pick 2. If you have 3 kids, he gets 1 and you get 1 and the 3rd has to be a combo of both. 2 kids than he has choice on 1 and you have choice on the other. 1 kid than you need to compromise.
Post # 14
Yep, worry about it later, not worth stressing about now! I always had favorite names, my Darling Husband didn’t like any of them. We are due in Nov and don’t know what we are having, and I hate to say it but Darling Husband has picked BOTH our boy and girl names, first and middle!! I love them, but sad that I feel like I didn’t contribute 😉 You’ll be able to compromise when the time comes. 🙂
Post # 15
Try not to worry about this too much right now. It will all work out.
I wanted to name my first son Clark but he didnt like it at all. Fast forward to the present, we found out we were having a boy and he insisted his name be Clark.
I hope you find yourself in a similar situation and get to name a daughter Sara. It is the best name for a girl out there
Post # 16
Tell him that he can pick the baby names for the babies he carries and you willl pick the ones for the ones you carry 🙂