(Closed) he’s getting married then!?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

once the in laws find out they may be able to persuade BIL of another time. He may not have thought it all through yet.

Post # 4
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would let it go and not worry about it. you get a day, not a month. YOU can’t try to make them change the date.

once the parents find out however, they may request this couple look at alternative dates (if they are putting money towards it). but you can’t really change when and where someone is going to get married but maybe they people who are pulling the purse strings can.

i dont really understand why they don’t know the date if you’ve already set it and booked things.

Post # 5
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Honestly, he may have just not thought it through and may not realize you’re getting married then. And even if he does decide he wants to do it, your fiance’s parents may try to talk him out of it.

If it really does end up that he is getting married the same month as you, it’s definitely frustrating, but it’s one of those things you can’t do much about :(. 

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you don’t know the Girlfriend, I’m sure your FI’s parents will mention the March wedding to them, and the Girlfriend will likely put the kibosh on a March wedding.  Boys don’t see the problem with these things (yes, I’m generalizing), but the Girlfriend or his mom certainly will.

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

He hasn’t even proposed yet, I don’t understand how he would have a date or even a month unless he and his girlfriend have already agreed on one? I agree the logistics of it for the family would be a nightmare, weddings aren’t cheap or easy especially benig out of state. Hopefully when they actually get engaged and start planning they will realise that!

Post # 10
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@kmas09: i still don’t understand how they don’t already know the date of your wedding. now you’re saying you’ve been planning over a year–wouldn’t your date be well known?

but seriously, i would NOT get worked up over it. getting upset before they’ve even told your parents will not benefit you OR your fiance OR your relationship with them. wait and see what happens–i would keep a distance from the wedding date discussion, as long as his parents know the date. and if they decide to get married the next week or the week before, well, take it in stride and do the best you can. concentrate on YOUR wedding and still making it the best day as possible (even if some people can’t come to both). getting upset will not benefit anyone.

on a last note, i dont think he’s “competing” with your fiance. why would he benefit from doing that? what would he “win”?

just calm down, and plan YOUR wedding and let the parents deal with the date issue.

Post # 12
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Did you stop to consider that if he is the military, he only has a certain amount of time he’ll be guaranteed to be home before he can be deployed again? I know my FI’s deployment rate is 6 months here, 6 months deployed. I think generally, the time frame is 6 months to a year where they cannot be sent over again. They may not have a year or so to plan a wedding.

I know it’s frustrating to have this happen, but it’s something you’ll just have to deal with. I wouldn’t count on them changing the date.

Post # 14
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would wait till the engagement and wedding date are announced and either appeal personally or have Fiance appeal to his parents.  They probably won’t be too thrilled to have two sons getting married in the same month and year either!

Post # 15
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Have you thought about it the other way? If you get married one week apart then you will get all the out of town relatives at both weddings? There could be a silver lining to this where you have a week of celebrating and his Out of Town relatives have more motivation to make a vacation out of it. He and his brother could also have a joint bachelor party. It could be a really fun week.

Post # 16
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honsetly I would be really mad. And my family would talk them out of it, 2 weddings in the same month is a TON to do.

Its also possible that he doesnt even remember the date, hes a guy I’m sure my brother has know idea when my wedding is.

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