(Closed) He's gone..

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Holy cow! There’s got to be more than this! In the last 6 months have you noticed he’s been distant? Is there someone else? When he left last night, where did he go? I’m sure the answers will all come out eventually. I’m so sorry this has happened. It’s obviously very fresh and is going to take time to work through. Big hugs from all of us here !!

Post # 17
Member
1378 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I’m sorry Bee.  Keep your chin up.  

Post # 18
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

How awful ๐Ÿ™ so sorry bee

Post # 19
Member
1865 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I am so sorry bee, that is just awful ๐Ÿ™ 

Post # 20
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

This almost exact thing happened to a friend of mine about four months before her wedding.  

She came home one day and he was gone, all his stuff moved out.  Just a note saying “I can’t do this.”  They had been together 7 years. 

I just want to let you know that while HE was an absolute idiot, he did love her, he just freaked out.  I was bridesmaid at their wedding which took place the day it was supposed to.  It wasn’t easy for her to go through that, but I think they came out stronger in the end.  

He moved in with his parents when they were separated, they didn’t talk for about a month (I know, I know).  In the end, he just needed the time and perspective to be sure.  It really wasn’t that he didn’t love her.  It was that he didn’t trust that HE was ready for the commitment.  Again, not excusing either of them… just bailing is a shitty, shitty, cowardly thing to do, as was not speaking to her for a month.  

I’m only telling you this so that you don’t feel alone. Men (and some women, of course), get cold feet.  Be sure to lean on your friends and family.  They will be sure to help you, and whatever the outcome, we are all sending good, healing vibes hyour way. 

<HUGE HUG>

Post # 23
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

beachbumm105 :  Hugs. You will eventually learn what happened. Give it time for now, take care of yourself. Make sure you are safe and sound as much as you can. Stay in bed and cry if you have to but don’t make any stupid decisions – ie. driving drunk or stalking him or whatever.

it will be fine in the end. Stay strong. Again, huge hugs.

Post # 24
Member
9736 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Oh, it breaks my heart that your best friends are away right now! Can you call in sick tomorrow and just take a three-day weekend to focus on you? I think it’s time for a bottle of wine or ice cream or both! Just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. 

You will be okay!

Post # 25
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

beachbumm105 :  I know you dont want to hear this but could he have been cheating possibly? Seems strange he would just leave with so little warning…

Post # 27
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

So sorry….sending hugs! 

Lean on your support system….things happen for a reason and it will get better, sorry this happened to you.  :+(

Post # 28
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

beachbumm105 :  Ok…this may sound harsh, but you can’t sit here hoping that the story posted above happens to you.  You just can’t.  Otherwise, you will drive yourself CRAZY.  He is gone.  He left you.  In a very coldhearted way, with no warning.  That is the information you need.  You can’t sit here wondering if he will come back.  That is a black hole that if you get into now may cause the healing process to be MONTHS longer than it should be.  Rip off the band aid.  Cry.  After you are cried out, get mad at this whole situation.  The stages of grieving are for sure a thing, and you NEED to treat this as if he won’t come back.  Please don’t hold onto a glimmer of hope that he might come back.  That happens once in a million break ups.  Usually break ups happen for a reason.  I know this is fresh and you are reeling and confused and so hurt….but this is over.

(Written by someone who once upon a time sat there hoping her ex would come back and realize what a mistake he had made.)

Post # 29
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry. What a freaking jerk! He didn’t even give you a chance to work whatever out. Some guys believe that phasing out or just leaving without an explanation is okay but it’s not. Maybe your ex is afraid of confrontation? Or doesn’t want to see tears? Who knows. Whatever his reasoning is, there’s a 99.9% chance it isn’t a good reason. 

You deserve so much better than that. I hope you realize that you’re a gem (I don’t know you but I’m assuming you are) and that you deserve a good man who treats you like a partner. Someone who will sit down and discuss his issues with you. Right now you’re grieving and you owe it to yourself this weekend to be completely selfish. I mean, pedicure, massage, shopping, good cry and a good movie. Hopefully you have close friends and family by so they can remind you how amazing you are. Good luck, you can get through this. <3

Post # 30
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

So Sorry ๐Ÿ™ *HUGS*

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