(Closed) He's got a lot of female friends, vent, kinda.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
788 posts
Busy bee

futuremrstx:  you’re a little crazy but that’s okay. I think most women who have been hurt in the past have that little “nag” in their head. If he feels they are close enough friends to invite then let him invite them. 

Have you meet these girl friends of his (note the space there lol) yet? I was really concerned with my husband’s friendships with a lot of women until I actually met them and realized that he acted with them the same way he acted with his guy friends.

If you really hate the idea of these women attending your wedding, I’d talk to your Fiance about it. Gently, of course, and in a way where it doesn’t feel like you’re telling him who he can be friends with. 

It sucks when other people try to flirt with your guy but I really wouldn’t worry too much about this. Sounds like he’s very loyal to you so just enjoy the fact that you landed such a catch! 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  ren89.
Post # 3
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Normally I side with the bride on these, but in this case you’ve really got nothing to worry about; because he shuts down any flirting and he’s 100% open with you. Let him invite a bunch of theatre girls and sit them together. 

That said, he needs to understand how to prioritise the list, and in general “work/college friends” are optional. Start with the people you need to invite (relatives, close friends, long time friends). If it’s a girl (or guy) you don’t know, then that probably means he doesn’t meet her socially outside work/college, so she’s not a close friend. (Becauee often a good guide of whether a work/college friend is close enough to invite is: do you socialise with them outside of work/college hours?)

Post # 4
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hurm..friends are a tough one. 

Personally…I would not want to be THAT GIRL…so I would let them come and be the perfect hostess. Being insecure can be OK at times but the issues happen when you take it out on someone else. You do not want to tell him no for no good reason? You know? I mean, he is loyal, does not flirt, gives you no reason to worry… I would really try and deal with the ladies if you can. 

I used to feel that way about my guy.. we talked it out a few times…then one day I realized I did not feel that way anymore. It has been so nice since I stopped worrying about what “could” happen and just focused on what is happening. =)

I hope you can find some peace with all this. I know it is hard…but trust =) <3 

Post # 5
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Seriously?!?!?  In any career, he’s going to have to be friendly with female coworkers.  If he’s planning on going into theater, the vast majority of people he interacts with in his career are going to be female.  Count yourself lucky that he’s already learned to maintain a balance between having female friends while not doing anything inappropriate.

Post # 6
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yeah, I don’t really see the problem here. Have you actually met or hung out with any of these women? Maybe get to know them before you judge their relationship with your fiance.

Post # 7
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

futuremrstx: I’d like to jump in and defend your feelings and say that when you mentioned theatre, unless you have been involved yourself with the stage, someone may have no idea how physical and sometimes sexual actors and actresses can sometimes be (even serious ones) with each other, even in jest. I really think it comes with the big personalities involved with theatre. I am proud of you for keeping your jealousy in check, and I definitely agree with PPs that you need to prioritize your guest list and possibly even meet these girls before invitations are sent out.

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