(Closed) He’s making everything so much worse!!!!

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 18
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

are we dating the same man?

Post # 19
Member
3312 posts
Sugar bee

good luck!!!

Post # 20
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My sister is in the same boat and it kills me to see her this way.  She hasn’t asked or lament about it verbally, so I have not gotten involved.  If she were to say the same thing you’re saying, I would tell her this..so here goes.

I think you have your own choices to make on this matter.  You and only you can have the final decision.  You can either wait for him or walk away.  You obviously know the outcome to your decisions..either one would be extremely difficult.  Your decision might be easier to get to if you understand where he is.  Guys sometimes don’t think too far in advance to know that far ahead, so just get things moving toward that direction by having casual discussions so he will think about it.  If he insisted not going there..then perhaps he’s far removed from that stage…

For my sister, her bf of 2 years thought he was ready to get married this year..but then changed his mind about it.  She’s 27, so she has a little time to wait and work on her career..i know she won’t wait forever or at least i hope she doesn’t have to. 

Post # 21
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

You’ve gotten lots of advice here so I’m just writing to say “I’m right there with ya’ sister!”  Been dating my SO for 2 1/2 years.  We are just now talking about living together and marriage has come up but he’s “not ready yet and and wants it to evolve naturally.”  He’ll say “we’re evolving.”  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  I feel the same.  Sometimes I stress about a proposal but most of the time I try to enjoy the NOW and the relationship.  Just because someone doesn’t propose to you within a couple of years and isn’t sure when he’s “ready” doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or can’t live without you.  Everyone is different and some people think more methodically (with their heads vs their emotions) than others.  I’m the latter, SO thinks with his head. 

So, in short, I guess I’m saying if you are with the person you love ENJOY IT.  And hopefully you’ll get what you want.  You’ll know when it’s time to say ‘THAT’S ENOUGH’

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