Post # 1
And I’m a little confused about what we’re going to do. First off, we are having a Nikkah(?) next month. Mainly because we have been living together and he doesn’t feel right with us living in sin. So basically, I will already be married when I have my wedding next year. He says that the Muslim ceremony is supposed to be intimate. Therefore it will be just us and our witness(I guess) My question is should I wear traditional clothing even though I am not Muslim? Also, I really don’t feel like explaining things to people in my family, because the few who I have told my plans to are already saying negative things… Also, will my Christian ceremony actually be a ceremony renewing my vows? Help!!
Post # 3
I am sorry, I don’t know anything about muslim traditions but I looked it up. The following are links that I have found, all that I know is that Christians do not encourage “unequally yoked” faith.
Post # 4
Hello! I had a friend who recently married a muslim woman from the UAE (he’s a white christian guy from the south). Their Nikkah was massive- like 500 people were in attendence! Her parents paid for the whole thing and it was a 3 day ceremony (my friend’s wife talked them down to 3 days from the traitional 5.) I am not sure how this works if you have something like that here in the US, but since their ceremony was held in the UAE, when they came back to the states they had to go to city hall and do a ceremony here to make it legal here. You may be expected to wear the traditional muslim bride clothing- you should ask! My friend was gifted a full traditional grooms outfit for his ceremony since he didn’t own anything like that before. As for if you’ll be “renewing” your vows during the later, Christian ceremony, I am not sure. You might need to talk to your Fiance and your local court house about how legal a Nikkah ceremony is in your area.I hope your family comes around to embracing your Fiance and his faith. Negative comments from family members can really hurt!
Post # 5
Hi Brokebee, I have some knowledge about this so maybe I can be of help.
Just my opinion but I don’t think clothing is the important issue here. You should view the nikkah as just as important and significant as the christian ceremony. In the eyes of your FI’s religion, you will be married. Thats a pretty huge deal for him and his entire family and community. I think you should explain it that way to your family. Interfaith marriages are never easy to explain to family but if you guys are entering into marriage with full understanding of expectations from each other, life and future then it shouldn’t be a matter of defending yourself to anyone – just clarification.
The nikkah itself can be a more intimate affair with only close family members and witnesses followed by a large reception or it can be a huge full blown affair with hundreds of guests. It depends on the preference of the couple and their families. As for clothing at the nikkah, I would dress as a bride would! (but just conservatively – no strapless/backless etc) Dress up, ask him and his family if they would like you to wear traditional clothing for the ceremony – involve your Future Mother-In-Law. Showing respect to your husband’s religion and customs will only win you brownie points with the family and also probably mean a lot to your Fiance (I’m assuming he puts in the same effort to respect your values too).
Hope that helped!!!
Post # 6
I am Muslim. Since your Nikkah will just be you guys and your witnesses (maybe 3 or 4 more people) then you should not worry too much about what you wear for the Nikkah, because hardly no one will see you. Just wear something comfortable and modest, I wouldnt go out and buy anything new for it. When you have your big wedding next year, go all out for that!! You may want to have some things at your big wedding to incorporate your husband’s religion/culture. Something fun for you to do to incorporate your Fiance culture/religion for the big wedding would be to hire a henna lady to do your bridal henna and all your girlfriends’ henna at your bridal shower. Here is a link to what the bridal henna might look like: http://www.indianbride.co.uk/gallery.asp?cat1=1&cat2=20
Post # 7
brokebee, i am muslim and agree wholeheartedly with ja7975’s comments. in islam, the nikkah is the actual marriage ceremony, so it is a big big deal — regardless of whether you invite a lot of people or keep it intimate. some people choose to combine their nikkah with their reception, which usually makes it a larger affair. others, will do the nikkah before the actual reception/dinner/party and keep the nikkah smaller (sometimes very simple, at the mosque itself–like mine was).
Post # 8
oh wow you guys live together and he says its a sin.Im MUSLIM TOO…its ok you guys are getting married.. about the tradition an all that; looking at my arab friends, yes the nikkah requires witnesses and you and him dresses appropriately at the mosque…
dont be afraid.everything will tun out just right.
Post # 9
Hi I am marying a muslim and i am Greek orthodox we are having the Kablecteb(which i am asuming is the Nikkah that you are talking about) which is the actual marriage in the muslim religion and is done as a small intimate ceremony with the sheik the bride the groom the parents / witnesses, and then the reception /party is usually done on the same day or sometimes a week or even a month later as the muslims usually get married on fridays.
We are doing the muslim mariage on the 11/11/11 which is a friday and we are then having a ceremony on the 3/12/11 in a chapel with a celebrant (cause no christian church would marry us cause he is muslim) and the reception.
As we will already be leagally married from when we do the muslim ceremony, when we do the ceremony in the chapel the celebrant has agreed to perform a marriage ceremony instead of a renew of vows ceremony for our guestd and video but not do the the legal regestry as we are already married.
As for the dress for the muslim ceremony, just dress modest you dont have to go all out .
I hope this helps
Post # 10
I’m a muslim and as far as I know the nikkah can be done intimate of few people or in big parties. The main idea is the groom has to be present, while the bride can be present or not. There must be a ‘wali’ which is the bride’s father or oldest male member of the bride’s family and two witnesses.
We’re doing nikkah with around 40 guests, and that is our only ceremony besides the civil one in the registry office. My Fiance is a Catholic but he doesn’t even care about his own part so we’re not doing the church ceremony because he said he doesn’t need it. So the nikkah for us will be followed by reception in the evening. By the way, we’re not doing nikkah in the mosque, it’s not obligatory, we’re doing it in the backyard of our house.
Post # 11
we are having our nikah in July. It will only be attended by my parents, brothers (sisters cant attend coz of work/locality), a couple of close friends, my fiance and I (of course hehe). After the nikah, we’ll all go for dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate.
It will be a simple affair which is how we would like it. Some of my friends had a grander ceremony with hundreds of people in attendance. It really is up to you. we are having the reception on the 7th of July and there will be more people attending; Friends, family, relatives and colleagues.
Post # 12
I’m getting married this year as well but i had to convert if we are to have a nikah. I didn’t quite mind, but i thought both parties had to be muslims in order to have the nikah.
Post # 13
By the way, the nikah is usually a smaller affair than the walima. It’s up to you in regards to how many ppl should attend the nikah. My nikah will be a small affair, to be followed by a lunch reception. Very small one. Just close family members mostly. Most probably my mum, my wali, his parents and my cousin.
Before anything, let me clarify that the lunch reception is required as per our custom. The lunch reception is to be hosted by the bride’s side and the dinner, or walima to be hosted by the groom.
Gonna have the walima as the dinner reception. The walima is supposed to be the event which tells the world that both of you’s are off the market.
Post # 14
I am confused too as I was also told that this cannot happen unless the bride has converted to islam. My fiance himself who is muclim told me this and thats why we are having a christsian ceremony
Post # 15
I am in a similar situation, I wil be having a Katb el Kiteb (muslim ceremony/marriage contract) before my wedding day (2nd ceremony and reception). I don’t know how to go about having the second ceremony? Also what would be considered your anniversary date? I assume the day you are legally married (in that case the day of the katb el kiteb for me) ? I’ve thought about skipping the second ceremony, but i think it is unfair to my family and me, I am the only daughter, just like we are getting married religiously to make his family happy I think it is fair both families are happy.
Post # 16
Just a point of view regarding a non-Islamic marriage ceremony.
I am honored to officiate for couples whose religion requires a preliminary ceremony performed by a member of the clergy or civil officiant in the USA. Also for those who are still in studies to embrace the religion of their beloved.
Obtaining a marriage license, having a secular ceremony and registering it with your county offers the protection of legal rights for both parties (and any children) involved. So please confirm the Imam meets the legal requirement(s) to sign the county license for your state (which can vary).
In so many instances, the bride is the one desiring a ceremony to fulfill her heart’s desire, but one that is not overtly religious in respect for her intended. (And that excludes having a few words exchanged at some sterile, fluorescent lit county clerk or magistrate’s office).
The right non-denominational minister should be able to accommodate a secular ceremony that can be customized to each couple’s needs.
Congratulations and best wishes to all of you!!!