- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
Not sure why this was marked as spam?
So I’m an active user too embarrassed to post with my regular account. I’m hoping not to get judged and I already feel guilty AF. Sorry if this is long.
So a couple of months ago, DH started telling me about possibly getting a puppy, which I was hesistant about because I knew how much work they are and I felt like this wasn’t the right time. We are currently TTC, and after much convincing and knowing I would be staying home once our baby was born, I thought I give it a shot since DH really wanted one. So we start looking at animal shelters and breeders until we found the right one. I spent weeks and weeks preparing by reading, youtube videos, buying what he would need, etc. DH and I agreed that during the first couple of weeks, I would come home during my lunch (I work about 8 minutes away) to make sure he was ok and adjusting. But once this little 10 week old puppy came home, things changed.
He had been home for about three weeks, and every single night he would just cry his little soul out. Whenever I was at work, I would check my nest cam, and he would be crying and howling so loud, that I heard my neighbors knock on my door. It got to the point where I was stressing out so much everytime I checked the camera. During the night, he would cry for about 2 hours, sleep, then wake up again to start crying and trying to jump over the playpen. I did everything possible to make him feel more comfortable. Put him in my room to sleep next to me, wake up to take him potty every three hours. Just nothing seemed to work. He just wanted to be near us all the time outside his crate/playpen. DH would just be asleep the entire time (talk about a deep sleeper). It just felt like I was putting in all the hard work and he would come home,play with him, and move on. Feeling like I had to rush home everyday during lunch and afterwork was making my anxiety run super high.
After speaking with DH and voicing my concerns, he agreed that maybe the best thing to do for everyone was to rehome the little guy. So after a couple of days of searching for the right home, I found the most perfect couple who already had a chihuahua. I felt like this would be a good match since they had a dog, and the wife was a stay at home mom who would be able to properly take care of this little guy. DH started crying and was distant with me when we dropped him off.
So now this morning, I asked DH how he was feeling today, and he very distantly told me “I’m nervous about having a baby with you since you couldn’t handle having a puppy”. I was honestly shocked, angry, and taken back by these words. I knew deep inside I wasn’t ready to take on a puppy, and I thought we would maybe get a dog in the future once I was a Stay-At-Home Mom and the baby was a little older. I didn’t reply back because I was running late for work, but this has stayed in my mind all morning. I feel extremely guilty about having to rehome the puppy, but I feel like it was the best decision for all of us. But I’m not sure how to moe forward with this. I dont even have a desire to get a pet in the future because I feel like such a failure.
I’m not saying a baby is going to be any easier, because I know it’s not. But I do feel very prepared to bring a little human bundle of joy into the world. And I would like to think it would be different than having a puppy.
Any and all advice would be super helpful.