Post # 1
My good friend, Jane, from college, has kissed alot of frogs, but I think she’s finally found her prince. She is truly beaming with happiness every time I see her. Her ex was emotionally abusive and cheated on her throughout their relationship. She’s worked very hard to get to where she is emotionally, to be comfortable in a new relationship. I’m very excited for her! But, I’ve not yet met her man.
Our mutual friend, Anne, did meet Jane’s new beau. I asked Anne how Jane’s new guy was. Anne says, “He’s okay, not my type though.”
I was really taken aback by that comment. I was expecting to hear “He’s very polite and funny.” Or “He was really shy.” Not “Okay, but not my type.”
Do you judge your friends’ boyfriends based on whether they’re your type?
Post # 3
your friend is weird.. why would you say hes not my type? when you judge your friends bf you are supposed to say stuff like hes great they are great together.. not make it all about you! that girl has issues.. watch out for her!
Post # 4
Ha, i’ve done this. One of my friend’s husbands is PERFECT for her. I mean, perfect. But i have a hard time saying he’s XYZ because those are not necessarily qualities i would admire in my own husband. I pick up on those similiar qualities in others REALLY quickly. But it takes me longer to pick up on other, positive qualities that are different. Does that make sense? But I would just say “he’s perfect for her” or “she seems happy”. But my friend and I are quite different. That being said, I like her husband–he’s a nice guy, and it took him a long time to open up to us to the point i could describe him. But he’s NOT my type and I know i’ve said that to a mutual friend of ours ;p
That being said, i don’t see how it’s necessarily insulting–it’s just not the best thing to say, though.
Maybe he just didn’t click enough with Anne for her to be able to say anything really nice about him yet.
Post # 5
Ya I totally agree with ejs4y8 and have felt the exact same way about one of my gf’s husbands.
I don’t think your friend meant it in a rude way.
Post # 6
It’s weird to me. I’ve had a friend say this about another friend’s guy and I was like, huh? *scooby noise of confusion* Why should he be, she’s not dating him?LOL
Post # 7
I had one of my friends say to me “I could NEVER date Mr. Birdie Love!”
I had to bite my tongue reeeeeal hard from responding with something similar about her guy (her guy is complete ass).
Post # 8
I think it’s weird too. Why would I judge a guy according to whether or not he’s MY type unless I was thinking of dating him myself? To be honest, I couldn’t see myself ever dating any of my friends’ SOs but I still like them a lot! I like them because they’re a good match for my friends, not because they’re a good match for me!
Post # 9
I think she just meant “he’s perfect for her, although he’s not my favorite person in the world” – ie there are things she might not like about him, but it’s not up to her. I don’t think it’s weird at all.
Post # 10
@Birdie Love: You might be on to something there. I understand what @ejs4y8: is saying too, but I think sometimes women make weird judgments about other women’s SOs because they have some hangup or insecurity about their own.
I have a friend who is engaged to a man a few years older than us, but he looks more than 10 years older. My friend is constantly snarking about how young other guys look. We’ll be watching a movie and I’ll mention that the actor is cute, and she’ll roll her eyes, make a face, and say, “Are you KIDDING me, he LOOKs like he’s 12!” It doesn’t seem to matter what age the guy actually is, she just can’t stand it when other girls ogle guys who look our own age.
She’s commented a few times on my Fiance too, who is the same age as us! I really have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying, “Oh sorry if my Fiance still has all his hair and hasn’t yet developed a huge beer gut. Maybe he’ll be more your taste in about 20 years!”
Post # 11
I often think that my friends’ SOs aren’t my type, but I would never say that out loud…
I also just wanted to say, +1 for “scooby noise of confusion”!
Post # 12
haha. This makes me chuckle because this reminds me of something I’d be stupid and say. She probably couldn’t find the words to describe him and figured you’d know what she meant if she said that…?