College is the new high school these days – I work on a campus and so many of the students seem closer to how I was at 16 than wht I’d think they should be at 22. We’ve encouraged younger people, men especially, to remain in ‘college-party-free-mode’ much longer than soeciety used to, and it means men get the urge to marry closer to their 30w, or closer to when they see themselves near the age for kids. This really sucks for ladies who start dating their SOs young, AND are close to them in age. There’s a reason the majority of relationships have the man a few or several years older than the lady – it emans they are ready for amrraige and kids around the same time, usually. Sigh.
Only you can decide when enough is enough. I’d make sure you let him know how you feel about marraige in general, that ti’s something you want in your life nd cannot see yourself forever happy without. And then stop talking about it for a few months (give yourself a time in your head and be quit until then unless HE brings it up). Guys feel nagged about this very easily, and get turned off by it, AND feel justified in feeling so because society allows them to – just watch any romantic comedy or sitcom – there’s at least one NPH type character who’s a forever ladies man – guys like to pretend they can all be that guy.
Gone are the days when an unmarried man was looked oddly at after 25 (people tended to think men were gay if not married, and that was just not cool back then), and unmarried men had relatively few options for sex – houses of ill repute where you could risk your reputation and health, or trying to convince a virtuous young lady out of her bloomers, which often ended up in ‘having’ to get married via shotgun after a while.
Men have it pretty easy theses day. Liberated woemn will sleep with them, live with them and play house (cook, clean, wash and shop, while working and helping with bills, usually, too), and all they have to do is pretty much show up – not that most don’t contribute to the relationship, or we’d not stay wth them, but the pressure that used to help urge them onto marraige has been lessened for them, if not for women. If nothing else, the ol’ biological clock starts ticking more loudly as 30 crests the horizon, and even ladies who’ve sworn not to want kids start thinking more about it as the deadline approaches.
@Mrs.LilyLunaLove: has some good advice, along ith the other ladies on here – let him have time to miss you – go home and visit your family now and then, alone. Go out with GFs, not necesaarily bar hopping/clubbing, but go see a movie, and to dinner with a female friend, find something to do outside the home like volunteer some evenings or weekends. Let him know your life doesn’t stand still for him, and if he’s waiting on you he’s backing up 😛
Waiting is hard as everyone on this board will attest. Only you can tell when your breaking point has been met. Communicate very clearly (come straight out and say it – guys REALLY don’t get hints) that you want to be married, and youo would like to be married before XX age/buying a house/having kids/moving to a new city or state, etc. Pick some life-benchmarks before talking to him one last time (for a while) like signing that next lease, graduating grad school, getting your PhD, whatever makes sense for you guys and let him know, then try to be busy doing other things so waiting won’t be so much on your mind.