Post # 1
So a couple mos. ago the SO said that he wanted to propose before next spring. Before that I didn’t even mention the words wedding/engagement to him. So now he’s always asking my opinion on wedding ideas. When it comes down to most things actually concerning a wedding we are on completely different pages. I want to get married in the states, so that it won’t be a burden on my friends and family to travel. He wants to do a Caribbean Destination wedding. Last night I told him that I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable getting married somewhere that I hadn’t visited, or using vendors that I haven’t met with. So he tells me to start planning a trip to the Carribean, so that we can check things out in the next few months. I then told him that I was not going venue shopping without a ring. So now he says I’m pressuring him! I am so threw with “wedding talk” with him! He really better not ask me anything else. I’m so aggravated. I always said that I wouldn’t be “one of those girls”, you know the ones who pressure their SOs into submission. I just can’t believe that’s what he thinks of me. I know this is all over the place, but I just needed to vent.
Post # 3
@SincerelyShe: I wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing nitty-gritty wedding details either without a ring and a date. I mean, that’s one of the things you get to look forward to, being able to start planning because you’re finally engaged!
Post # 4
ya i would tell him to stop discussing the wedding until you have a ring on your finger. I would be uncomfortable with that too. god men are weird
Post # 5
@SincerelyShe: You’re definitely not pressuring him. Its perfectly reasonable not to look at vendors before getting engaged. (Unless you want a very very short engagement, in which case it might help you have more time to book vendors you want, but I don’t know that thats really embracing the spirit of a short engagement.)
Post # 6
He thinks you are pressuring him to get engaged because you don’t want to go wedding vendor shopping without an engagement???? That is nonsense. If he starts to bring up anything about weddings cut him off. Tell him you don’t want to “pressure him”. Guys are irrational and sometimes just down right ridiculous.
Post # 7
am i the only one that thought he might want to propose while in the Caribbean and is trying to throw OP off?
Post # 8
@eloping: Nope. You’re not.
Stop talking about rings. Go to the Carribbean. If you come back without a ring, THEN you can be upset 🙂
Post # 9
@MissCallieJean: Exactly! The whole thing just seems so backwards to me. It really hurts my feelings a little, because I try really hard to keep my wedding fanatasies to myself, so that he never feels like I’m pressuring him.
@eloping: Don’t know why, but this never even crossed my mind.
Post # 10
I think you’re missing the boat! You’ve got a man who actively, without encouragement, talks about wedding plans, and you think he’s just doing it for the hell of it? Sorry darlin’ but I think you’re being a little obtuse here. It sounds like he’s a terrible liar and couldn’t think of anything to say without ruining the surprise, so he said that. Not the best save perhaps, but I certainly don’t think you should view it in the way you are. Your situation sounds nothing like 90% of waiting bees who think they’re being strung along. Just sounds like you got yourself a thoughtful, romantic guy who WANTS TO TAKE YOU TO THE CARRIBBEAN! Did you forget that part?!? Wouldn’t have to ask me twice… I say you don’t mention another word about rings, go on the trip and tell us all about your fantastic proposal in paradise when you get back. 🙂
Post # 11
Not every guy wants to go to the Caribbean to check out wedding venues before even being engaged ….*wink* * wink*
Post # 12
@Bubalou: & @Eva Peron:
You ladies might be on to something. I guess I should just go with the flow & start planning to go on vacation. I couldn’t see far enough past my frustration to have even thought that he might have a propsal planned.
Post # 13
Hmm, I agree with the girls on the carribean proposal but I never wouldve thought of this myself! It’s a bit odd of him to be telling you off for ‘pressuring’ him when he brought the whole thing up. I get a bit annoyed when my SO starts discussing the nitty gritty wedding details and I haven’t got a ring yet… it’s like, a little less conversation a little more action, for want of a better phrase!! Good luck, keep us updated!
Post # 14
@ProfessorGirl: I agree 100% and couldn’t have said it better myself