(Closed) He’s set on a diamond

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

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@Shylis:  Opals are extremely fragile and not pracical for a ring you would wear all the time. If you’re not into sparkly stones, have you ever seen a rough diamond? they are interestings and may fit his needs and yours. Even rose cut diamonds are more”funky” and non traditional.. you said no YELLOW gold, but there’s green gold and rose gold, and other interesting combinations, why not do some googling and come up with somehting that’s a compromise? What are your thoughts on Sapphires and Rubys (both hard enough to stand the test of time, and Sapphires come in all shades). Good luck on your quest!

Post # 18
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

“My dream e-ring would be an opal on a silver band with black hills gold.” That’s so very specific. Can you share this very sentence with him? It may help him to visualize what you’d like more clearly and help you both reach a compromise. Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Actually true opals can be pretty spendy (Opal is my birthstone). I would explain to him that you really rather have an opal with black gold band. 

Post # 20
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

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@Shylis: even though you take good care of your other opal jewelry and you’ve never chipped one yet, I assume you don’t wear them every day.  rings get the brunt of abuse so much more than earrings and necklaces since they’re on your hands. I would highly recommend not getting an opal e-ring if you plan on wearing it every day for the rest of your life.

there have been so many times that I accidentally banged my ring against something hard, and that was just me walking around minding my own business. accidents like this happen at the most unexpected times. if you are walking down the hall and you accidentally bang an opal ring against something hard, it will probably chip, or get an invisible fracture that will weaken the stone.

1 carat might not look as big as you think. have you tried on any rings? I suggest going ring shopping with him. maybe you can pick out something together that you both like.  if you don’t want a diamond, put your foot down! it’s your ring!

Post # 23
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Shylis: Ah, I see. That’s great that you’re open to him designing it and that that is what he wants. Very thoughtful of him. Just lookin’ out for you that you get what *you* want, too. Hooray for compromise. ๐Ÿ™‚ Great idea about printing the photo! Little happy hints ought to help!

Post # 24
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I think he is insisting on the diamond because he thinks that if he gets you an opal, people will think he was being cheap or lame and feel sorry for you when that is not the case at all! I was surprised when I found out my boyfriend felt this way.

We were talking about rings and I had always mentioned, and he always knew, that I preferred blue stones (like sapphires and blue topaz and aquamarine) to diamonds. Then one day we were walking around a nice mall and we passed by Cartier and saw these diamond rings and he started talking about what kind of engagement ring I would like, and how those diamonds look like they cost so much. I said “Well, thankfully you won’t have to pay as much as that because I don’t want a diamond.” And he totally surprised me by saying “But I have to get you one, people will think that I don’t treat you right if I don’t!” Wow, I had no idea he felt that way! Maybe you should talk to him about it and see if that’s why he wants to give you a diamond.

Post # 25
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had the same discussions. I think it was hard for Mr. R to come to terms with me really really wanting a different stone. I even went so far as saying.. “If you propose with a diamond, I’m going to say no.” Of course I didn’t mean it, I would have said yes to a ring out of a gumball machine.. but my off-hand comment stuck, and he decided to go ahead with the ring I wanted.

Our compromise was that I picked out the main stone, and he wanted it to be in a very nice setting, with diamonds. ๐Ÿ™‚

Have you looked at any diamond/opal combos? I think any stone, in the right setting can look rich.. (and cost a small fortune too).

I like the idea of having your ring made custom.. and together! It would be so much fun to have a ring that is the perfect blend of both of you. Plus.. you want it to have an incredible design so that it stands out from all of the other beautiful opals you own!

Post # 26
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wear a 5 star opal heirloom piece EVERY DAY (for the past 7 years) that my mom gave me for my 16th birthday, its my great aunts. I think its beautiful, so I can understand you wanting one. Maybe get small diamonds on either side? Thats what I have and its really beautiful, maybe thats a compromise.

 

As for platinum, I HIGHLY recommend it over any other silver metal. Silver will get really scratched up REALLY fast and white gold needs to be redipped. Let him buy the platinum, its worth every penny.

Post # 28
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2006

It sounds like you are not near each other right now, but that should not deter your communication.  Not knowing either of you, it is hard to say what he is thinking.  Perhaps that is the goal.  Communicate to him to find out what it is that HE wants.  Then, explain to him again how important it is for you to also have the right ring. 

If you talk it out, you should be able to come to a compromise where both of you are happy.  After all – isn’t that what a partnership is about?

I think both bride and groom should be happy with the ER.  You have to wear it and he has to buy it and look at it for all those years.

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