Post # 1
Hi ladies, this is my first post, I’ve been reading the board for a while, and wanted to get some advice on how to stay cool about this waiting scenario…
He’s been telling me he wanted to marry me regularly since we started dating a few years ago, then he took me ring shopping about 4 months ago right after we moved in together and told me to pick the ring. We found one we both loved. He even wanted me there to negotiate the price because I’m the business-head of the two of us… I filed our receipts and insurance…
A few weeks ago he picked it up from the jeweler, and got my Dad’s permisison….but I’m going a bit crazy every day wondering why he won’t just “officially propose” now and give me the ring. I feel like I’ve already been waiting for at least a year…and seriously waiting the last 4 months, and I don’t really think there’s much to call a surprise at this point… even most of our close friends on both sides know he has the ring… and everytime I talk to my parents I feel like they’re expecting me to tell them something has happened… it’s hidden in our apt. I feel like this is stupid, but I’m trying to respect that he wants some kind of “moment” to occur. Help. I don’t want to be a brat. I’m just getting all wound up in the void, and I’m afraid my sincere reaction whenever he gets around to it will underwhelm him.
Any advice? How long does a man take after getting the ring to actually propose?
Post # 3
@waitingwonderland: Unfortunately there’s no magic formula. It varies man to man. Perhaps he is waiting for a special occaision like a birthday, anniversary or something else?
Post # 4
@love108: Yeah I’ve been reading others and it seems like it’s either within a day or so or like many months!!! ahh I hope it’s not 5 months or so… both of our birthdays and our anniverary is already past…no plans for trips.. :-/
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - The Millennium Center
Maybe he’s planning something nice or trying to totally surprise you! Me and my fiancé picked out my ring and he ordered it on the spot. He told me since it was near Christmas time that Artcarved was back ordered. I totally bought it. He proposed 3 weeks later on Christmas. Your bf is probably really trying to make it a surprise and special since you already know what the ring looks like 🙂
Post # 6
@waitingwonderland: yep, it totally depends on the guy/situation. He may have a special date in mind, any special events/holiday’s coming up that are important to you? I have been waiting 5 months since he bought the ring (NYE!)…but we both really wanted to be finished the semester before we got engaged, tomorrow is my last final so we shall see !
Post # 7
@waitingwonderland: i feel like we have the same life right now! I went ring shopping about a month ago with my boyfriend and he bought a ring on the spot-i was so shocked! I walked away when they were discussing details such as when he would pick it up bc i knew it would drive me insane, but of course my boyfriend told me the day he was picking it up which was 2 weeks ago. I’ve been on edge ever since we went ring shopping but I’m finally starting to calm down a little bit. It’s really hard becuase there are so many emotions, you want to be excited and happy and ready to plan for the future but at the same time your mad and frustrated bc hes taking so long. It’s probably one of the hardest things to get through emotions wise.. sometimes i feel insane! haha
Every guy really is different though, I’ve learned that from reading posts on here. I had it in my head that my boyfriend would come home and would be bursting with excitement and wouldnt be able to keep the ring from me.. but i was wrong.. he probably wants to surprise you and I definitely dont think you will underwhelm him, it will be just as special as you hope for i am sure of it! and try not flip out at him.. from my experience (bc i have def had moments i am not proud of in the past month lol) it only causes an argument and makes you feel silly. in the meantime you should try mr bees backup plan.. it really does work.. its so hard but focus on being happy and try not to think about it.. you’ll be planning your wedding soon enough 🙂
Post # 8
Not my personal experience, but my friend A and her now fiance picked out the ring together about three months before he officially proposed.
I know that A’s fiance wanted to surprise her and make it romantic, especially since she already knew what the ring looked like.
Perhaps your guy just wants to make it romantic for you.
Post # 9
@futuremrsgreenbean: Yes.. I totally thought I would be relaxed about it once I knew the ring was coming… I was also pretty sure that he would be bursting to give it to me right away!
But what I didn’t count on was me starting to research and see everything I liked, and realize that I’d need a year to plan… and count backwards from then, and create an ideal window of time in my head to achieve said ideal wedding date and venue, and then slowly wind up inside with every passing morning and evening. Hypothetically if he proposed this weekend, my first thought would be “Yes!”, my second thought would be… “I have X many weeks left to visit venues and lock down a Saturday”
I gently made him aware recently when we were talking about it, that you do have to lock in a venue about a year away (if you want your pick, which he certainly does), and that there are only so many weekends in summer for all the girls in our area (he’s not big on figuring numbers), and that in order to make a choice, you have to go visit all the places first… boys are completely unaware of these things. At least he knows this now… I put away all my wedding planning books and magazines. Trying to forget.
Post # 10
i’m in the same boat as you. my SO has had the ring for a month now. i’m positive it’s going to be at least another month, maybe two. luckily for me, i HAVE felt much more relaxed since he got the ring. just knowing that it will be coming soon is enough for me. if i were you, i would tell myself that it will be another couple months. that way, you won’t be so anxious every day.