Post # 1
We had a family member over for Thanksgiving. I had fun – this is my only half-sister that I have not seen in over 5 years. We were separated when teenagers but have always been in touch. I enjoyed having her over. Hubby did not. He claims we were making faces at each other and giggling the whole time and he felt left out. I don’t think we were, because he was giggling along with us, I think.
He asked me why I have such strong chemistry with my sister and not with him. I enjoyed showing her around the City, she has never been here before. Hubby was working, but he saw the pictures we took when he came home. He says I look so happy with my sister and always miserable with him. He asked why? Do I want to leave him?
He got into an altercation with my sister. Asked her why she never calls him to say hello, is she trying to break us up, etc. The more she tried to explain, the angrier he became. I was silent, and eventually my sister got silent too and hubby raged on. Finally he said my sister could marry me if she wanted to.
I agree that she can be aloof and busy and doesn’t always return phone calls on time. Eventually she does. She left the Sunday after Thanksgiving, but I don’t think she’ll be coming back. Hubby is still angry at me, saying he felt left out. We have been arguing since Sunday. Any advice?
This topic was modified 3 years ago by shakazulu.
This topic was modified 3 years ago by shakazulu.
Post # 2
What the frack! Is your husband always this jealous about you spending time with anyone but him? He sounds like he’s very insecure. You should never have to justify your relationship with your sister.
I guess you could wait a couple days for both of your emotions to simmer down and talk about it calmly. But this would be really upsetting for me. I would have a lot of anger towards my husband if he talked to my sister like that. Is there more to the story?
Post # 3
Is your husband always this jealous and insecure? Do you have any friends you hang out with. Your husband’s behavior is not normal.
Post # 4
shakazulu: This is totally irrational behavior. It almost sounds like he is jealous of your sister, which makes no sense whatsoever. Is he close with his family? Perhaps he is taking it out on you/your sister (not that it makes it right) because he is jealous that you have someone you are so close with.
Also – why would she have to call him? She is YOUR sister. I can’t imagine calling my sister’s husband to catch up OR for him to whine about me not calling him. That’s so freaking weird. There has to be an underlying cause or vulnerability for this to be happening.
Post # 5
TaraMay_: There is no more to the story, other than the phone calls. My sister is bad with calls. Hubby wants to be involved in her life and gets upset when he hears from me or someone else that she is traveling or has a new job or the like. He demands to be updated in all aspects of her life because ‘he is family too’.
Post # 6
<br />a lot of your posts state that your husband is an insecure, angry man. I would suggest counseling.
Post # 7
shakazulu: I don’t talk to DH’s siblings. My siblings don’t call to talk to DH ans my sister and I met DH at the same time, we all hung out together for 3 years – honestly I find it weird that your FI wants to be that involved in her life.
Post # 8
WTF, why does he want to have a relationship with YOUR sister?. Sorry I don’t/rarely talk to my DH’s brothers. They are his siblings not mine. That just sounds strange. He sounds very immature
Post # 9
shakazulu: This is not normal behavior. Your husband should be happy for you to have a good relationship with your sister and for you to have a good time with her. Why in the world would your sister call your husband just to say hello? It’s weird that he would expect her to, especially if he makes it this clear that he doesn’t like her that much. This isn’t healthy of him, and I’m sorry I have no advice because it’s so odd. Just wanted to let you know you’re not crazy for being confused and concerned.
Post # 10
Agree with PP, this behavior is strange, and he sounds really insecure.
I’ll send the ocassional text message to FH’s brothers, but I wouldn’t ever call them just to say hello or idle chit-chat.
Post # 11
I find it incredibly strange he’s being so demanding about having direct communication with your sister. If he’s so desperate to know her every move, why can’t he call her?
He comes across as incredibly insecure. Just because you laugh and joke around with your sister it doesn’t mean your miserable with your husband.. Are you? That just seems like a strange conclusion to jump to because you enjoyed the time you spent with your family.
Post # 12
Your husband is insecure and has anger issues. He’s trying to isolate you from your family members. He doesn’t like to see you happy with anyone else but him.
These are your major red flags.
Post # 13
shakazulu: So…. Weird. What’s his deal. Tell him to cut that shit out. Call him out and put him in his place. He needs to quit that behavior ASAP.
Post # 14
RED FLAG!!! Your husband should not be jealous of you sister that is insane. Also he yelled at the both of you and yelled at your sister WTF! If it were me i would never let my husband talk to my family like that i would be done with him. That is really not ok that i scary.
Post # 15
shakazulu:When his family is around does he make a fuss? Hang out with them a bit more than with you? Because all of that is normal, especially if there is distance and years since your last interaction with family. I wouldn’t put up with that from my husband and if he wants to be mad, let him be mad over something so ridiculous. The fact that he snapped at your sister like that is beyond unacceptable. I would be furious at him.