(Closed) He's upset that I enjoyed having my Family over for Thanksgiving

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

RUN!

I couldn’t live like that. He’s acting irrationally. He’s cutting you off from friends. Now he’s cutting you off from family. No man is worth that. It’s not healthy. This is completely unacceptable behavior and will likely only get worse if you continue in the relationship. Get. Out. Now.

Post # 63
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

This is so not OK. Isolating you from the outside world is just another step closer to full fledged abuse.

You’re married to a dick.

Post # 64
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

shakazulu:  Please leave him! My ex who i was in a releationship for 6 years started out great then did the same things your Husband is doing. Eventually it turned into domestic abuse. Please, for your own good please just leave him. Ithere is anything I learned from my abusive relationship is to tell the signs. All of the red flags are here. My ex was very jealous of the bond I had with my sister. It was crazy. Please leave. I don’t want you to get hurt. I know it’s hard to leave and you are invested into this relationship. But relationships are supposed to lift you up not bring you down. I can’t say this enough GET OUT while you can. It sounds like your family will be behind you if you leave him. I know getting out is hard and very scary but you can do it. It seems that you are spiraling down  and the emotional abuse is getting worse. For your own good leave him. You deserve to be the bright shining bubbly person you were born to be do not let him turn you into a whisp of your self. 

Post # 65
Member
8864 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

shakazulu:  “He doesn’t get it”  — Yes, this is the problem. Everyone here is trying to tell you, he is not going to get it, ever, because there is something wrong with him. He’s not going to get it, and it’s just going to get worse. Talking to him won’t do any good. I know you said he’s never gotten physical, but when he yells and throws a tantrum, are you scared? I would guess yes, and you do NOT have to live like that. It’s not normal and not healthy for you or your son. There are men out there who will love you and be happy that you have friends and family. Your husband is alienating you so that he will be the only one you can turn to. He wants to be the sole person who can make you happy (or sad). He wants to be the only one you can go to for support and it will be completely up to him whether to give or withold what you need. This is abuse and he is not going to change. I’ve seen it. You can’t fix him.

Post # 66
Member
2272 posts
Buzzing bee

shakazulu:  

This probably is not what you want to hear but his behavior is not normal, and really not healthy. My SO does not give me a hard time for hanging out with family or friends, nor does he demand anything from me. That’s one reason I love him so much because he respects me, it is a balanced relationship. 

I worry for you because before my SO I came out of a very toxic relationship with a verbally abusive and overly jealous man. I was not allowed to have my own friends and he began trying to turn me on my family. I loved him so much I was blinded to it, and too be honest he was not like that in the beginning. It took me a long time to realize it and understand how unhealthy and harmful it was to both of us, so I made the decision to get out. 

As many bees have suggested counseling maybe a smart idea or he will continue to get worse I am afraid, and you will have a tough deicison to make in the future for your own security. 

Post # 67
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

shakazulu:  Obviously he doesn’t get it. I’m sorry, but you need to leave this relationship because it isn’t healthy at all. He can say sorry all he wants ,but that won’t make it up for the fact he is emotionally abusing you. You need to get out because it has already consumed you ,don’t let it consume you more. Go to a friend’s house . Find somewhere to go.

Post # 68
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

You’re not going to change him. If you stay, you’re looking at years of drama and misery. This is a toxic man who will only isolate and control you. You will post again in a few months with the same issues.  Leave. Go to your sister’s house.

Post # 69
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

shakazulu:  what’s even scarier is that he may actually get it and is doing this intentionally.

Post # 70
Member
10854 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

4littlekitties:  

He knows exactly what he’s doing.  He just feels entitled to do it.

Post # 72
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

shakazulu:  YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!! It hurts now. but you saved your life!!! and your childs.

Post # 73
Member
2526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Really pleased to read your update. Glad you’ve found the strength to leave him. Please remain strong if he tries to get you back.

Post # 74
Member
8864 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

shakazulu:  That took a lot of strength. It might get harder before it gets easier, but please know you did the right thing and it WILL get better. Nobody should live life walking on eggshells. It might be very helpful for you to call a domestic abuse hotline. They can give advice and resources that you can lean on until you are safely re-established. Best wishes!

Post # 75
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You absolutely did the right thing. Your husband is a sick, angry man who doesn’t want to get help. I am so, so happy for you!!! I’m sure that was an awful decision to have to make. Please, please stay safe as you work out the end of your relationship. I’m sure there are resources online. It might seem extreme, but please consult a domestic violence shelter on how to leave safely. And please keep us updated. *big hugs*

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