- 1 year ago
As I am finalizing our guest list, I am coming across a few family members that I am quite hesitant to invite for various reasons. First, I have a cousin who was known to have been doing meth for the past few years. She has adamently denied this the whole time, but it’s quite apparent. Her own mother hinted at the fact that she would almost be relieved if we did not invite her, as she would have to drive her down (she doesn’t have a car and lives 5 hours north), buy her a dress (she lives paycheck to paycheck) etc. etc. This is just the dynamic of their relationship. The problem is, I am inviting her mom (my aunt) and her brother (my cousin). If I don’t invite her, that would literally be targeting her and leaving her out which I don’t want hard feelings after the wedding.
The other family member I am hesitant about is my mom’s other sister. She is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and self medicates with cocaine, xanax and alcohol. The one and only experience I had with her at a wedding was my mother’s reception where she got into a huge fight/screaming match with another guest in the parking lot and it had to be diffused by other family members that then left early.. even though at that point a few people were trashed due to the open bar all night. Which brings me to my next worry: we have a premium liquor open bar for the entire wedding. This understandably worries me. We are also inviting several people from FH’s work that have known him for 20+ years and I don’t want things to be awkward for him when he goes back to work after the wedding if something did go down.
I keep going back and forth thinking, I am just going to invite the people I feel comfortable with and the rest will just have to understand, and “but they are family” and wondering, am I overthinking this? What if nothing happens and everything goes smoothly? Why am I worrying so much how other people will act? I also know that something might happen with someone I am not even thinking of! We are all adults and I should just trust that they will know to behave cordially for the evening. I feel like I already have enough on my plate planning the wedding, I don’t need to be worrying how other people will act and if they will start problems on such a big day. My problem is the proximity of their relationship with other family I am inviting. It’s not like I’m just leaving out a set of aunts/uncles and their kids. I am inviting my two cousins (her kids) but not her. And as previously mentioned my aunt and cousin but not his sister. I just feel bad individually targeting these people. Did any of you have a situation similar to mine? How did things turn out?