(Closed) Hesitations about starting a family… (long)

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i think its normal, and honestly i dont think you’re ever really ready to be a parent. I mean i had my babygirl when i was 21, shes turning 1 in july and the first 6mths i was pregnant i was freaking out! lol but i mean all the mother instincts and the love kick in once you hold your baby, good luck!

Post # 4
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

After reading your post, I think you are going to be an amazing mother! You seem to have so much love, compassion, and understanding that any child would be lucky to be raised by you. No you cannot shelter your keep your child from ever learning about the horror in the world but you can protect them. You know what to look for and all of the signs since you are exposed to this every day. And the fact that you are worried about your niece and your family so much shows how family oriented you really are. You sound like while you might not have the financial needs to keep paying for things for your niece, you will still make her a priority.

I am actually 20 weeks pregnant and worry about if I’ll be a good mom and how I will guide her and support her. But I know I have a wonderful and loving family and support system and I will figure it out because I will always have her best interest at heart.

Post # 5
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@roxy821:  I completely agree with you.

I think the fact that you are thinking of all these things now shows how thoughtful and well equipped you are to be a parent.

Post # 6
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@roxy821:  I agree with you too.  

I am also having my own fears but I think that will make us better mothers because we know the work that goes into it but yet still go through with it prepared and giving it our all.  

I have two daughters with my first marraige, 18 and 10.  I just got married in April and we are going to start trying soon. I am scared, nervous and excited at the same time but somoene receently told me that I should focus on the positive.  To my surprise, I have been and it works. 

You seem like a smart woman, you will do great.

Post # 8
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Miss PumpkinPenguin:  I think your post actually shows how very ready you are to be a mom.

Post # 9
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have similar concerns. I guess sometime I just wonder if it’s really a good idea to bring a sweet little innocent baby into a world with so many problems, and so much uncertainty. 

However, when I’ve communicated these to concerns to friends with children, they say that is exactly the types of practical concerns and fears a compassionate mother should have. I think it’s normal, and that you will be a fantastic mother one day! 

Post # 10
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Annie624:  Yes, I agree. The world scares me. I have an 18 year old and I worry so much about her more then when she was a baby because I wont be there 100% anymore. πŸ™ Being a mom is the hardest job but it has such sweet love wrapped all around it. 

Post # 12
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Miss PumpkinPenguin:  

I think the PP’s are very much right but I did want to add something. I was formerly employed in prisons, battered women’s shelters and psychiatric units and I can say that these types of jobs tend to skew your vision of humanity at times and think that everyone is so bad off. Sometimes you don’t even realize that it is happening. Anyway it’s very important work but you mustn’t let it steal your joy in life and your desire for a family! Smile

Post # 13
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mimi123:  You are so right. 


Post # 14
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Agree with @kayakgirl73:  100% when she said…

I think your post actually shows how very ready you are to be a mom

Think back to your earlier time on WBee… how you’d read thru a post and say, “Wow, this girl is not ready for marriage”… or “This Girl GETS it”.

Let me say as someone over 50 years old, who has been a Mom almost as long as you’ve been alive… YOU GET IT !!  You understand the Commitment and the Responsibility… and that it can be hard work, and challenging being a Parent (keeping your child safe both physically, mentally and emmotionally).  Truly, I’d say you are ready to join the Mommy Club.  And we’d be very proud to have you as a member.


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