(Closed) Hey Bees I need reassurance

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think 19 months is perfectly acceptable. Really anything less than 2 years is considered normal engagement length. Weddings are so time consuming to plan, and having a bit more of a stretch to plan things should keep you sane and guarantee you your first choice of vendors.

Post # 4
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That’s totally fine! I would do the same if my crazy parents would let me get married in winter. We have a lot of out of town guests and my Dad had a meltdown about the threat of a snowstorm!

Post # 5
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First rule of wedding planning, make sure you are being true to who you are. My Fiance and I are getting married in 10 days after a four year engagement. Everyone was after us to just hurry up and get married but we knew that we didn’t want to compromise on our day and that meant the four year wait. We are very happy with our decision and in the long run so are our families.

 

Post # 6
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

you should allow the amount of time that YOU think you need to plan, not other people.  if you feel that you need that much time, than so be it.  it’s not that uncommon to plan for 1.5-2 years. 

btw, congratulations!!!

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should take all the time that you need! The day will be here faster than you think and by having a longer engagement it gives you a lot more time to perfect your ideas and the look of the wedding. We only had a 4 month engagement and I’m very detailed oriented, but if I’d had had more time, I probably would’ve done a lot more research into the decisions I was making – especially with my dress. Don’t worry about what others have to say. Your wedding will be gorgeous and represent your fiance and yourself, and if that means waiting until February 2014, then you should feel confident in that decision! 

P.S. Congrats on the July 20 engagement! My husband and I celebrate our dating anniversary on July 20 🙂

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Traditionally, most Engagements used to last about a year… so as to have enough time to prepare (today that means buy a dress, book a venue etc… but not so long ago it also meant prepare a trousseau of clothing and household linens & goods)

Occasionally you’ll hear of someone getting married in under a year, but it can be a lot of work and stressful… especially so if the wedding is a fair size, or afar etc.

Lol, personally I am an Encore Bride planning an Elopement to a Destination Wedding (just the two of us marrying on the Beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean) and so although it is a small affair, my 8 months leadtime (now whittled down to just 4-1/2) is quite harried… there does seem to be a lot to do despite the fact that this time round is not nearly as elaborate as the first.

19 Months seems reasonable… I find a lot of couples now are getting Engaged, annoucing their plans, and spending 1, 2 or 3 years saving up to make it happen… so you certainly aren’t alone.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I really don’t understand how people figure out what’s long or short for an engagement – my brother’s engagement was considered really short (9 months), but being engaged for 18 months is considered ages!

That’s only about 18 months away – my fiance and I got engaged in Feb 2012, and are planning on getting married November next year and it’s so easy! We’ve only just started looking at venues now (and even they say we’re getting in really early), and it’s so nice to not have to stress and worry about organising so many different things in such a limited time.

Do whatever feels right for you! If you want to be able to relax and enjoy being engaged, then do it! Plus, if you want to get married at a particular time of year, then you either get married in 6 months or 18 – which is easier?

Post # 11
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with everyone above. Only you know what you’re comfortable with. We have had a 13 month engagement and I love it. I could go through planning phases and then take a couple of weeks off and then come back to it. I definitely had people say, “why wait so long” AND I had someone ask if I was pregnant because we were “rushing it.” Haha, crazy! I did have 1 or 2 moments when I was a bit jealous of people who got engaged after me but married before. But those moments have passed and I am extremely happy with the way everything has turned out!

Post # 12
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My wedding is three years away… You are not waiting to long if this is right for you then don’t let anyone change your mind.  This is your life and if you don’t feel comfortable planning a wedding in under 2 years don’t do it.  This is not a time to be stressed about a wedding its a time to be happy and enjoy planning your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We’ve had a 20 month engagement. Got engaged in October 2010, wanted a summer wedding, didn’t want to plan in under a year. People asked why we were waiting so long. Then they asked why we were planning so early. And I’m glad we didn’t listen as we have 22 days to go and the to-do list is still pretty long!

Also. A longer engagement gives you the luxury of concentrating on one thing at a time, for a while, no pressure. Seriously, ignore everyone – you’ll never please everyone so just please yourselves. 

Post # 14
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You’re doing the right thing if it makes you guys happy.  End of story.  The critics aren’t planning your wedding or paying for it.

Post # 15
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m having a long engagement, and really, I think it’s a good idea considering the cost of weddings nowadays (although if someone does it in a shorter period, more power to them!). We’re planning on getting engaged sometime at the end of this year, then get married in May 2014.

I’ll be busy with my Masters program/working, but also I want to give my parents time to have the resources they need to pay (they graciously offered). Also, I like having the time so I don’t feel so rushed. I’m also considering a wedding planner because of my busy schedule with everything, but that’s a personal preference,

My “friend” had a 6 month engagement and it killed her parents’ bank account and she has been frantic the whole time. The more time you have, the better (within reason, of course). If anyone gives you crap about it, blow it off.

Post # 16
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@WJDVOG:  Trust me, you want time to enjoy and settle in to your new commitment before you blow it all up with planning.  😉

The topic ‘Hey Bees I need reassurance’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors