(Closed) Hey, bees! It's been awhile. Etiquette question….

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

If she’s that worried, have her ask the couple directly.  I’m sure they will be flattered that she called to ask them, and chances are I don’t think that they’d have a problem with it as it is far off.  If she’s not too worried, I’d go with it…I think that’s plenty of time and it’s not like a sibling situation where parents will be strapped for cash.

Post # 4
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@JemmyGee:  Only about as rude as it is to get engaged on Christmas because baby Jesus might feel overshadowed. Which is to say, not at all rude.

Post # 5
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JemmyGee:  Nope, they get a wedding DAY not a wedding month. I understand that people will be worried about travel and expenses and at first the bride may think that it’s a competition, but your sister shouldn’t have to work around your cousin. It’s her day, she should get what she wants.

Post # 6
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think it’s rude.

Post # 7
12257 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Not at all! There’s a six week window between weddings. That’s more than enough!

Post # 8
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@JemmyGee:  if she’s really worried, she should talk to your cousin.  But honestly, she has a good reason for chosing her date, and its over a month away from your cousin’s.  The only thing I would worry about is if there were a lot of guests, and there would be a significant financial or time strain for those guests to get to two weddings in one season.

Post # 9
7123 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Six weeks is plenty of time between family weddings.

Post # 10
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JemmyGee:  For cousins a month apart, there are no issues of “thunder stealing”.

But there is one possible practical problem, which only you can answer: are there relatives who would need to travel for both weddings? And if so, is that a problem?

Post # 11
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@JemmyGee:  Not rude at all! Thats more than a month away! Tell her to go for it 🙂

Post # 12
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No that’s totally fine!

Post # 13
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@JemmyGee:  The fact that she is thinking about other people is sweet, and I don’t think it is rude. Though that would depend on 1. how much the guest lists would overlap and 2. How far people have to travel. If a lot of your family has to fly out for both weddings (for example) that would put a financial strain on guests and they would probably have to miss one of the cousin’s weddings- but if they were further apart, then they could afford both. That would be my only concern. Other than that, just communicate with the other bride so the bridal showers aren’t the same day or something like that. 

Post # 14
1814 posts
Buzzing bee

I come from the you get one day school but my concern here is do a lot of people have to travel for both or are the wedding locations close to one another?  Back in ’06 my DD and SDD got married 3 months apart and several of the female relatives were not happy to have to travel for 2 showers and 2 weddings in a 12 week period.  They are all incredibly generous and I do think it stretched a couple of them financially.  As the stepmom, I got an earful while my stepDD bride and her mother are still oblivious as to what people said.

Would your sister’s wedding being the first weekend in September cause relatives to have to choose which wedding they would have to attend?  That would be my only concern.  If they won’t be put in that position then go for it.

Post # 15
12632 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Absolutely not.  There’s several weeks in between the two weddings.  The October bride doesn’t get dibs on the season just because she was engaged first!

Post # 16
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You should just go for it. I am getting married October 4, 2014 and my cousin is getting married September 13th, not even a month apart and no one seems to care. My family is extra excited since they get to be a part of two of everything! 


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