Post # 1
I’m curious to know married and engaged bees’ thoughts about changing your last name when you get married. Specifically directed to women – have you always known you’d take your husband/fiance/partner’s last name? Or that you’d keep your own name, or go the hyphenated route? Was it cultural, religious, or personal – or based on your career or practicality?
Just wondering because I’m planning to keep my name, but the majority of my married friends and people I know have changed or plan to change their last names. Sorry if there’s another post like this one – just wanted to get a snapshot of people’s views.
Post # 2
I am changing my name, but only because it is important to my husband. If he was indifferent, I would’ve kept my own name.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
I am changing mine, but I moved my maiden to my middle, so I will go by amanda maiden hislastname. My official last name will be his, but my maiden will still be in there. I’m glad I did it that way, because it was harder than I thought to give up my maiden entirely.
Post # 4
I’m in my mid 30s and know no one who has kept her own name when she’s gotten married. I will (not engaged yet), and I expect a decent amount of flack for it.
I love my partner dearly, and I’m eager to make a life with him, but I have been myfirstname my lastname for nearly 35 years, and I just don’t want to be anything else. We will still be married, still a couple. If someone calls me myfirstname hislastname, I won’t be offended. It isn’t that I don’t want to be a histlastname; just that I want to be me more than anything else.
He was surprised but not upset when we discussed it. I think he just hadn’t imagined another way, though all of my friends suspected and tried to dissuade me from even broaching the subject with him. I think they knew it was a losing battle.
Post # 5
mshelena: There is no way I would change my name and if my hypothetical fiancé objected in any way I would consider that grounds to terminate the engagement. As I see it, it is not his decision, his opinion on the question does not matter, and he has no business commenting on my name. (eta) Many people believe this means that I wouldn’t see myself as a “family unit” with my spouse; I think it is utter rubbish to assert that two people have to share a surname to be a family or a unit or whatever. Other women will obviously see the matter in a different light and should do what is most pleasing to them.
Most of the women I know have not changed their names.
Post # 6
I changed my name.
1) Never felt a stong connection to my maiden name.
2) I think hyphenating is silly.
3) I liked my husband’s last name before I even met him. Talk about lucky!
4) I want us to have the same last name, for familial reasons.
Post # 7
I thought I might change my last name to his, but when it came down to it, after the wedding, I decided to keep my last name. My education and professional life is tied to my last name, so I decided to keep it. I know he would like if I changed my last name to his, but he doesn’t complain or say anything that tells me it bothers him. I’ve thought about it a lot. We are CBC so I don’t see any reason to change my name. All of my friends changed their names, IMMEDIATLY. Like, the day of the wedding, they made changes on Facebook and made the legal changes as soon as they could. But I know that they are more traditional and are planning on having children.
Post # 8
I will be changing my name when I get married. I want to share the same last name as our future kids! Plus I love his last name and I want to have the same name.
Post # 9
I will change my name because I strongly dislike my last name and I’m not to a point in my career where it will negatively impact me. Almost every member of my family that I’m close to has a different last name from me anyway for various reasons, so I have no strong positive connections with it.
Post # 10
mshelena: I changed my last name to take DH’s last name. I kept my middle name though and did not take my maiden name as my new middle name. This is only because I never really liked my maiden name, my maiden name and last name sound weird together, and I’m particularly attached to my middle name because it’s a family name.
Post # 11
Nope. Not changing. I’ve started a professional career under my name and don’t want to change it, and because my last name is also a (male) first name, the middle-maiden name just sounds awkward. At my workplace, not changing is the norm, but I will be the first ‘wife’ in his group of friends not to. His family is a little surprised, but I never had any intentions on changing my name.
Post # 12
mshelena: I should also add that I’m at a really good point in my life to be changing my name. I’m building my career on the new name (which I like so much better than my maiden name and is also much more unique)
Post # 13
I changed my last name to his. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I love his last name and I want to have the same last name as our future kids. I will say it was a bit of a pain to do but I’m glad I did. It was different at first but now I’m totally used to it.
Most of the woman I know haven’t and/or don’t plan to change their last night. Mostly due to work/publications.
Post # 14
I made the decision to change my name – it was an easy decision for me because I’ve never had a connection with my maiden name (its my bio dads last name and he and I have no relationship). So taking hubbys name has much more meaning to me than keeping my own. It was also important for me to have the same last name as my children so that would have been another influence for me.
Post # 15
I’m changing mine based on the fact that A. his name is cool. Also because B. I love him and his family and would be proud to call myself his Mrs.