(Closed) To tell or not to tell, that is the TTC question.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I do NOT plan to tell when we start trying and I think it is so rude of people to ask. I mean lets really boil this down… 

“So are you and the hubs having lots of unprotected sex? AWESOME.”

Ew. I’m sorry but its just way tmi for me when I know that friends or family are “trying” because I know what “trying” means. Which also means that when we “try” we’ll keep it to ourselves until we have an announcement to make.  

Post # 5
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We haven’t started trying yet, but I think once we finally do start we won’t be sharing the details with anyone until we have a baby on the way. I think it’s maybe different to tell your parents or siblings, but even then you end up with more questions and inquries. I think the only person I am going to speak to about our official TTC will be my mother because she and I share various fertility issues that I am sure I am going to want a lot of insight on. Other than that, it’s really no one’s business.

We haven’t even spoken to anyone about our baby plans and we are already getting a whole slu of questions, advice, etc. It’s pretty annoying so I can imagine the constant “update report” while TTC would be even more annoying if everyone knew.

Post # 6
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I follow this rule of thumb: I tell the people that I would want support from if something went very very wrong.  That means my mother, 1 sister, and my best friend.  That’s it.  I too was bombarded by Mother’s Day stuff yesterday, and it was rough, no lie.

Post # 7
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@panterapeach: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… *gasp* omg. so funny.

If you do, please post results/responses.

I think it’s totally rude to ask that kind of intimate question. It’s no one elses business. We aren’t trying yet, but when we start, it’ll definitely be a secret.

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

I wouldn’t tell. As someone who had/has been trying for over 2 years…it doesn’t get easier after you tell peeps you’re TTC. They just continue to ask….over and over again. It goes from “are you trying for babies” to “are you preggers yet?” and if you’re not..well it just makes you feel like a failure. :o( 

Not sure why this is an acceptable question to ask. Like CorgiTales said, when is it okay to ask about a couple’s personal sex life? I think next time a person asks, I’m going to say, “Yes, we are having lots of sex, thankyouverymuch”.

Post # 9
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@panterapeach: bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Please, DO THIS and then post responses!!!!

My Fiance wants to say something similiar to a doctor to get his reaction and to shut him up… he’s a bit of a quack anyway, lol.

We haven’t told anyone.  Not even mentioned it to family.  Despite my mother CONSTANTLY badgering me about it.  *rolls eyes*  She’s got FOUR GRANDKIDS ALREADY!!!!  Geez, you’d think she’d be happy as much as she complains about them not listening to her.  (granted, they don’t like listening to anyone, but that’s a kid for you, lol).

 

Post # 10
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

I wouldn’t tell. As someone who had/has been trying for over 2 years…it doesn’t get easier after you tell peeps you’re TTC. They just continue to ask….over and over again. It goes from “are you trying for babies” to “are you preggers yet?” and if you’re not..well it just makes you feel like a failure. :o( 

Not sure why this is an acceptable question to ask. Like CorgiTales said, when is it okay to ask about a couple’s personal sex life? I think next time a person asks, I’m going to say, “Yes, we are having lots of sex, thankyouverymuch”.

Post # 11
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’d say don’t tell them…ask them to stop asking tell them when it happens you’ll let them know…Fiance and I are not yet having babies, but we’ve talked about it and we are not tell people til we’re 3-4 months preg…. mostly because my mom (and most the woman in my family) have miscarriges so we aren’t saying anything til we are sure …. it’s your business and if you don’t want to say anything don’t

Post # 12
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mssushi: “are you preggers yet”…. YES.  Made the mistake of mentioning to a friend who’s dating one of my FI’s best buds.

SHE ASKS THIS EVERY FREAKING MONTH!!!!  I swear, if we get lucky this month, I’m gonna LIE if she asks and demand her bf NOT TELL HER.  (I’m evil, I know….). And she KNOWS we’re having problems, too!  GEEZ!!!!

Post # 13
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’ve told a bunch of people because that’s just who I am but here’s how it worked out.  For the first few months people asked a bit, but now they don’t mention a thing because they know it’s taking awhile!  It’s actually good. 

Post # 14
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve told my mom, my favorite sister-in-law (who’s more like a sister to me), and my best friend of 12 years. Before we got married we knew we were going to start trying right away, and Darling Husband told one of his groomsmen that we were planning on “taking the fast track” after the wedding i.e. starting right away (well, more like responding to GM’s wife who was very pregnant at the time and is very point-blank)

Post # 15
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I just mentioned this on another thread. I did not want to tell many people, or I wanted to be vague about when we’d start exactly but just say “soon.” This is what I’ve been trying to do. Darling Husband however ruined this yesterday. He went to a family gathering without me and apparently everyone was asking him because I just finished my graduate degree. They were all saying “baby is next!” and he apparently agreed and said things like “yep!” UGH. I coulda killed him when he told me that, but he doesn’t see the big deal. Maybe, like Mrs Green Grass, it could be good so that people actually shut up if it does take awhile and stop making comments about it. 

Regardless, this is such a rude question if you ask me. 

@panterapeach: LOVE IT!!! omg lol if only I had the guts to say that to someone. 

Post # 16
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I haven’t mentioned to many people that were TTC. My best friend knows because she’s trying too and it’s really nice having someone to talk about it with. And I told his sister for the same reason, she’s trying for #2 right now and I was looking for advice.

Otherwise, we keep telling people that we haven’t got enough money saved up in “The Baby Fund”, but once we do, we’re going to start. I couldn’t handle people asking me every month if we’re there yet. I’d also really like to surprise my family if/when I find out I’m pregnant. I know they’ll be VERY excited!

The topic ‘To tell or not to tell, that is the TTC question.’ is closed to new replies.

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