(Closed) “Hey, why wasn’t I invited?”

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should say something along the lines of "We would have loved to have a much bigger wedding but we weren’t the ones paying for it and we wanted to be respectful of our parents and their wallets as well"


Post # 4
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Nicely said, Jocelyn!

I have not gone through this yet but I have not sent out the invites. I am afraid I will experience the same though. I already got some heat for a cousin that didn’t receive her STD the same time her sisters did. Sometimes you never win…

Post # 5
9 posts

I feel your pain! We aren’t getting married until September and I have already had so many blatent attempts from aquaintances to invite themselves! It can be uncomfortable, but I think that it is best to be honest. I have been telling people that our wedding guests will consist of family and very close friends, as we have a large family and a limited budget. While I would love to invite everyone, our price range just won’t allow it.

Post # 6
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’ve felt like asking this question before, but I’ve never opened my mouth. Usually I consider asking it when someone implies that I will be invited but then I don’t get invited. (as in, can your address and your SO’s name?) Assuming that’s not the case with your wedding, I would say exactly what’s been suggested. Don’t mention that there were only 125 people because that sounds big — just say it was a small wedding.

Post # 7
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Thanks for asking this question and the advice girls! I know this will be happening to us! We are paying for the wedding ourselves and have always wanted only family and close friends. We have already had some random acquaintances ask us about it (like some guy we see out maybe once every 3 months). And some people from work… It’s always so awekward!

Post # 8
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

i have an old friend who i see from time to time. she is a total flake and Does things like not call me back for 3 months. I ran into her yesterday and she just assumed she would be invited to the wedding. She was asking all about it and she kept asking when it is so she can take time off work. I just said march. For someone i run into once in a while, it isn’t worth the fight of telling her she is not invited! If she asks after the fact why she wasn’t invited I would just tell her we had a small intimate wedding.

Post # 9
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with some of the ladies by saying it was a very small wedding and space was limited. I have been getting people inviting them selves to the wedding, as in I haven’t received an invitation but it’s ok I don’t need one. To me that is really tacky.

Post # 10
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Just say you had to have a small wedding because your parents set a limit, and the majority was family!  Tell them you would have loved to invite them if you could of!

Post # 11
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I would say you have five good reasons why, then punch them in the face.


No, just kidding!  Tell them you appreciate that they wanted to be part of the big day, but your parents’ budget didn’t allow you to invite everyone you would have liked.

One way to avoid this uncomfortable topic is not to talk about your wedding around those who weren’t invited.  (Or around those who won’t be invited, if you’re not married yet!)  It’s like one kid telling another about his birthday party.  People can get easily offended, and it’s better to only give details if they ask.

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