(Closed) Hi I’m new! Marrying in a different diocese question

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissOwl: hiya! i thought about getting married in a different parish, and to start off I just went to mass there. for me, even though it was a smaller church (which is why i was contemplating the switch), it just didn’t have that same “feel” that i’m used to so i’m sticking with my home parish. so, i guess that’s where i suggest you start! go to mass at the other churches and if you like it, register to be a member and set up a time to talk to the priest. :]

Post # 4
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club

I agree with @elliestan; try out the parish first to see if it is a good fit for you, and register as a member there. Have you broached the subject with your grandparents yet? Not sure how understanding they are or what your relationship with them is like, but I imagine they would be fine if you wanted a parish to which you felt more of a connection 🙂  We live in NJ and are getting married in Seattle, so our situation is a bit different.

Post # 5
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We attempted this path (at first we wanted to get married in my childhood church, but my parents aren’t even members there anymore), but it got so complicated that we gave up and registered at our local parish and will be getting married there. I have learned that it is easiest to get married at a church where you are a registered member. Before I registered the office ladies would barely take my messages for the priest… after I told them I was a member it was all “Sure, OK, he’ll call you right back!”

Probably not what you wanted to hear! Sorry…

Post # 6
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I went thru this in the beginning.  My mom is really involved at her church and wanted it there but we are regular parishoners locally at a church this is not so pretty as my moms.  Oh I really hate saying that!  In the end we are going with our church because we feel at home there.  I know my mom was disappointed because she is a big part of her church and it is a cathedral but I know I made the right choice.

Post # 7
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are moving a long distance shortly before our wedding, so we will be getting married in a church we don’t belong to. I’m very happy with the church we found, the priest, and the staff members that have helped us. They’ve all been very welcoming and kind. BUT the entire process was NOT that way. I literally contacted at least 8 churches and only 3 agreed to marry us as non-parishoners. One of them wanted us to pay $2000 (4x the amount of anything I have ever heard of in the area… this is not NYC)!

So I would say that, yes it can be done, but don’t put “all of your eggs” in one basket before speaking with the church. It really varies depending on the church or the marrying priest.

Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

A different parish in the same diocese shouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s when you change diocese that it becomes a little more complicated (but still completely doable).

If your grandparents are particularly fond of a priest at their parish, they could have him perform the wedding at the other church. You just need need permission from the pastor of the church where you’re getting married.

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