(Closed) Hi Ladies! Frustrated, hopeful waiter here!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Guys are weird.  My Fiance wanted to barf whenever he heard the word “marriage” when we first started dating.  Apparently when he decided he was going to propose (After we had been together for 4 years) it was just on a whim, and he bought my ring 2 weeks before he popped the question.  Just let him do it on his own time.  I know it’s frustrating, but it will be worth the wait!  Guys aren’t planners like we are.

Post # 4
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

First, as you look through the waiting boards, you will notice that you are not alone in the way you have been feeling. πŸ™‚  Second, you have had some impressively adult, responsible and obviously fruitful conversations with your SO.  Nice work!

Based on what you shared, I don’t think he’s having second thoughts.  Guys have their own process (mentally, financially, emotionally) to go through before they propose.  It may take more time than you’d ideally like…but he’ll get there (speaking from experience πŸ™‚ ).  If you sense him becoming a little overwhelmed, take a deep breath and go out with friends or bury yourself in the Bee.  This will allow you to focus on you while giving him a little space…and you will both appreciate it.

ETA:  REMINDER:  YOU ARE NOT BEING REJECTED!  He obviously loves you, talks about your future together, and is making huge steps to make that happen.  HE IS NOT REJECTING YOU!!! He loves you πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t worry too much.  My Fiance (then BF) told me for three years that “Forever is a long, long time…”  He assured me that he did want to marry me and he was in this for the long haul, but “Forever is a long, long time…”

I don’t know why, but one day a switch flipped and he was suddenly all gung-ho about marriage.  He surprised me with ring shopping about two weeks after Christmas and we were engaged by early February.

He told me after we got engaged that he’d been telling everyone who asked for the last six months or so that we’d be getting engaged within the year.  He never told me that and couldn’t understand why I was all antsy.

Post # 6
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ve obviously had the really important talks and are on the same page. Him telling his family is a big step! So now you sit back and let him do his thing. It’s not easy, especially when you read into his comments or actions. While we waiting, we overthink things when we shouldn’t. He’s got a plan, let him run with it. 

My SO sometimes sends mixed signals without realizing it. He’ll say we want to go to Alaska sometime next year for our honey moon to a friend but turn around and say something about being married in 5 years to me. It’s confusing, but he doesn’t mean anything by it. I know he’s got everything worked out, I just have to trust him. I try to ignore the comments and take it at face value. 

But the Bee is a fantastic place to go when you’re feeling confused or frustrated!

Post # 7
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

None of this sounds that alarming although the comment about you becoming a “bitch” like other women he knows after marriage would REALLY piss me off, for more than one reason.

He told his family about his plans and that is excellent. Guys don’t do that unless they are serious.

Don’t worry too much about the lack of payment. My Boyfriend or Best Friend ordered my ring, put a deposit down, and the day he picked it up and paid off the balance was the day he proposed. I’m assuming you can access this layaway account to see activity, he might want to surprise you.

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