Post # 1
So my birthday is next week and Christmas is the week after. I know I am NOT getting the only thing on my list…a ring! I am trying my best not to let hope get the best of me because I tend to show all my emotions on my face and if I open a jewelry box with something other than a ring in it he will see on my face that I am deathly dissapointed. We have talked about getting engaged for a while now but he keeps saying ‘on our anniversary’, so there is not a chance of it being this month.
How do all of you hide your dissapointed holiday face when all you want is a ring but you wind up getting something else? I love the surprises he does for me, and he is an excellent gift giver, but this year the engagement bug is really biting hard, despite my best efforts. I don’t want to seem ungrateful or unhappy, since the holiday season isn’t about gifts. However, with all these jewelry stores and their dang proposal commercials and all the Facebook announcements of others getting engaged for the holidays, what is a waiting girl to do!
I can’t wait for this season to be over because I feel like it is engagement central and it’s making me crazy!!! Even though I am proud to say I have kept my mouth shut about rings for the past month…which also be why I am ready to implode.
Post # 3
I’m in the same position as you… but at least my SO told me that it definitely would not be happening over the holidays. That makes it easier I think when you’re 100% sure, could you ask him to tell you that?
I decided to re-read Mr Bee’s plan, it worked wonders over the summer and now he is just saving up a little more money and I will have my ring. I really don’t want to make him feel bad about not getting me the ring and I don’t think he would appreciate that at all, I know you said you’ve been trying not to talk about it for the last month, well I would carry on with this – that’s great! Come on here to vent anytime. I found that after I passed the “I am ready to implode” stage, I became much more relaxed about an engagement and he started wanting to act on it. Good luck!
Post # 4
You have to ahve the “no small jewelry box” rule. My friend explained to her now husband that during the 8 years they were dating she never wanted to get any kind of gift in a small, ring-sized box, because it’d be such a disappointment and let down if that’s not what’s in it. If your SO gets you jewelry that’s not a ring, ask him to please have it put into another shape box so you can be happily surprised instead of being disappointed in a nice gift because it’s not an engagement ring.
Post # 5
@Isilme:THIS. WE have this rule and it’s worked wonders so far!
Post # 6
What’s Mr. Bee’s plan?? I keep hearing about it but can’t find it!
Whenever I’m dissappointed I just smile like crazy and say I love it. Didn’t get a ring for my Bday so I had to excuse myself to use the restroom because I thought I was going to cry. I’m 99% sure I won’t be getting a ring this holiday season so I won’t be too dissappointed.
Post # 7
I like the “no small jewelry box” rule. We had it as a dating couple, after the first two Christmases. Once we got to the “our parents are asking” stage, I said okay, keep it simple. Get me something clearly not jewelry. I actually asked him to not get me jewelry at all until that.
Also, if you’re anything like me, your emotions show on your face. Just being aware of that helps. You can even practice in the mirror! I’m only sort of joking about that part. I mean, prepare for the “worst” (I guess in this case not getting the proposal) and then if you DO, it will be that much more surprising. You’re totally on the right track though!
Post # 8
Giving you any type of jewelry or anything in a small box would just be CRUEL!
Here’s my advice if you’re disappointed: go for the hug, then at least he can’t see your facial expression hehe!
Post # 9
Let him see the disappointed face! Your needs are important too. You want it now and he wants to wait for the anniversary? Why is it all about him getting his own way?
I’d show gratitude for the gift but I wouldn’t hold back on how I emotionally feel.
Post # 10
He said no ring for Christmas because one time his uncle got his family all gift cards to the resturant they were going to eat at for a family get-together later in the spring and I guess everyone talked about the ‘double gift’ for years, since this man is notoriously skimpy with all things money, and it made him look like he didn’t put thought into anyone’s gifts. He said giving a ring to me for a birthday or Christmas would be to the same effect as his uncle and the gift cards, since it would seem like he got my ring so he doesn’t have to put thought into something else. (How that is any different than giving it to me on an anniversary, I have yet to understand.) I said: 1. Holiday proposals are great because it’s a FAMILY time of the year and 2. Who gives a hoot what others think or if they want to call you ‘cheap’!! It could be just to throw me off, but I really doubt it.
I LOVE the no small box rule. And the hug idea to hide ‘the face’ if I feel it coming on. However, I might let a small pout slip through, just a SMIDGE, so he knows that I’m happy, but not has happy as if it would be what I really wanted, haha. Good luck to all of you dealing with the same thing!! It can be brutal!!!!