(Closed) Hiding the dissapointed holiday face!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
525 posts
Busy bee

I’m in the same position as you… but at least my SO told me that it definitely would not be happening over the holidays. That makes it easier I think when you’re 100% sure, could you ask him to tell you that?

I decided to re-read Mr Bee’s plan, it worked wonders over the summer and now he is just saving up a little more money and I will have my ring. I really don’t want to make him feel bad about not getting me the ring and I don’t think he would appreciate that at all, I know you said you’ve been trying not to talk about it for the last month, well I would carry on with this – that’s great! Come on here to vent anytime. I found that after I passed the “I am ready to implode” stage, I became much more relaxed about an engagement and he started wanting to act on it. Good luck!

Post # 4
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You have to ahve the “no small jewelry box” rule.  My friend explained to her now husband that during the 8 years they were dating she never wanted to get any kind of gift in a small, ring-sized box, because it’d be such a disappointment and let down if that’s not what’s in it.  If your SO gets you jewelry that’s not a ring, ask him to please have it put into another shape box so you can be happily surprised instead of being disappointed in a nice gift because it’s not an engagement ring.

Post # 5
223 posts
Helper bee

@Isilme:THIS.  WE have this rule and it’s worked wonders so far!

Post # 6
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

What’s Mr. Bee’s plan??  I keep hearing about it but can’t find it!


Whenever I’m dissappointed I just smile like crazy and say I love it.  Didn’t get a ring for my Bday so I had to excuse myself to use the restroom because I thought I was going to cry.  I’m 99% sure I won’t be getting a ring this holiday season so I won’t be too dissappointed.

Post # 7
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I like the “no small jewelry box” rule. We had it as a dating couple, after the first two Christmases. Once we got to the “our parents are asking” stage, I said okay, keep it simple. Get me something clearly not jewelry. I actually asked him to not get me jewelry at all until that.

Also, if you’re anything like me, your emotions show on your face. Just being aware of that helps. You can even practice in the mirror! I’m only sort of joking about that part. I mean, prepare for the “worst” (I guess in this case not getting the proposal) and then if you DO, it will be that much more surprising. You’re totally on the right track though!

Post # 8
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Giving you any type of jewelry or anything in a small box would just be CRUEL! 

Here’s my advice if you’re disappointed: go for the hug, then at least he can’t see your facial expression hehe!


Post # 9
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Let him see the disappointed face!  Your needs are important too.  You want it now and he wants to wait for the anniversary?  Why is it all about him getting his own way? 

I’d show gratitude for the gift but I wouldn’t hold back on how I emotionally feel.


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