(Closed) High expectations of family and friends.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you have getting certain family/friends to support you?
    yes, several people didn't show any interest in our wedding. : (9 votes)
    45 %
    no, everyone was riding my bridal train. : (3 votes)
    15 %
    mostly but they had a few moments when they didn't seem to care. : (8 votes)
    40 %
    we eloped! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2753 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    ((Hugs)) I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. Expectations and daydreams always find a way to bite us in the butt! It stinks that your parents aren’t more supportive, but that’s not something you can’t change. Just focus on the fact that it will be you and your Fiance coming together in a beautiful ceremony at a destination that you want! Think of the good things and be your own bridal cheerleader! I’m going through the same thing as this is my second wedding AND am thousands of miles away from my family and friends. FWIW, I’m super excited for you 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it’s important to live in reality and not expect our families and friends to have massive changes in behavior to accommodate our weddings.

    That being said people are being insensitive and you need to communicate that with them. As for the destination wedding I advise you to brace yourself for that, a lot of people may not go. Not because  what your mom said(by the way I think that was unnecessary and very cruel on her part) but because destination weddings often mean time off from work in addition to thousands of dollars. I gone to a few. But more often then not I send a gift and my regrets to the couple.

    I suggest you find ways to include them or use this as another way to have a bonding experience with your Fi. Hopefully you can talk to them and they can at the very least do the basics and show up to dress appointments.

    I think the thing to do is to have reasonable expectations, and to really think about what ways they do support you.

    ps: great picture of you and your Fi and all that matters is that he supports and loves you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I am going thru the same issue with my friends.Sometimes I think maybe they arent happy because they want/wish to be getting married too! But at the end of the day, I realize their actions cannot and should not influence my happiness….

    But since yours is with family, I do agree you should voice your feelings and maybe ask them to be more supportive. My mom does not show emotions either but I am the one who seeks her out. She is going to a bridal show with me now haha!

    and  you said it perefectly “At least I have the man of my dreams…” & That is what it is all about…. you are going to marry your best friend, the man of your dreams, who you are crazy in love with and he is crazy in love with you! So be happy about that and celebrate that and If you want destination wedding than you should have the wedding you want! 🙂

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m so sorry!

    This is something that happens to many brides, even myself.

    I don’t have many female friends at all. Every girl I’ve ever known [ive had probably 8 really good friends in my lifetime], have screwed me over in some way. One of them slept with my an ex bf [while i was dating him], another got addicted to meth and basically told me that if i didnt accept her doing drugs, then i didnt have any place in her life! another just left, nobody’s heard from her in years. another became a MAJOR slut [she slept with 7 guys at 1 party], i just can’t associate with someone like that. I eventually just gave up on having girlfriends. My life is drama free, and I can’t say i’m happier without female friends, but I know no bad shit will happen.

    I did have 1 really good friend, she was the best. Unfortunately, she hooked up with and married a guy who wont let her talk or hang out with anyone. So sad.

    I’ve come to realize that me and my fi are really the only ones who care alot about our wedding, and I guess that’s all that really matters. My mom is somewhat interested, but since I didn’t want to do any of her ideas, she has become less interested.

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