- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
When we got engaged last July I was deliriously happy…so delirious that I even had this false assumption that our family and friends would be cheering us on….
I imagined moments like this with mom…
(this isn’t my mom by the way.)
Moments like this with my girls…
(not my girls or me)
Really happy phone calls to congratulate us…
(also not me or anyone i know)
Tonight it hit me.
I had a little cry. Okay a big Kim Kardashian cry.
It happened because my aquantince send me a facebook message to tell me she wouldn’t be able to go with me to the Wedding show with me tomorrow. I have been going gaga over this show for the last two months and was counting the days on the calendar. I cried because once she told me this I realized that I had no one to call. I had no one to go with me. I felt in that moment like I had no bridal support.
What seemed so stupid and small caused a whole 6 months of emotions to erupt and pour out of me.
My fiancee and I come from families that don’t show emotions. My best friend/MOH is an introvert who is painfully shy and doesn’t like to show feelings either. My three other bridesmaids are my sisters and I am not close with any one of them, we only see each other at major holidays and even then we barely talk.
I don’t know why I expected something different. Some TV Show family that I have conjured up once I got that ring on my finger.
For some reason in my mind when I got engaged I thought that this would bring me closer to people, that people would want to jump onto the bridal train and support me. I thought my mom would be interested in talking about bouquets, that maybe one of my sisters might call me to congratulate me.
None of this happened.
When I last spoke with my mom she told me how nobody is going to care enough to travel to our destination wedding.
When we last spoke to my fiancees dad (tonight), he suggested to save money we cancel the destination wedding and have a pot luck at a local gym 😐 I quote “I know it’s important to your fiancee that she have the wedding of her dreams but honestly its just a huge waste of money.”
When I last spoke to my sisters (at Christmas) they “didnt want to talk about it.”
Nobody went dress shopping with me. I left my dream dress at the store in hopes I could bring a few people with me to try it on for a second time, I even called my Maid/Matron of Honor and offered to pick her up at her house. She didn’t come. My mom evantually was persuaded to go with me since she was coming to visit me on my birthday…
I am just kind of sad because I feel like I had these expectations of what my 1.5year engagement might be like…but it is in fact quite the opposite. There is no happy tears, no words of encouragement, there is no bride-to-be bliss to be found.
It really isn’t what I imagined it would be.
At least I have the man of my dreams…