(Closed) High School age and above- kids split?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would say that it is an “adult only” reception on the invite and then maybe the parent won’t even bring the high school aged children.

If the parents ask, just say that you think the atmosphere would be more of a highschool age and up sort of thing. I am sure that the 8th grader and 6th grader can entertain themselves for a few hours. 

Post # 4
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would say for the out of state one, I don’t know many people who would leave their 8th grader for the weekend when they are in another state. Plus it would kind of suck to get left behind when your older sibling got to go.  6th grader, for the afternoon I don’t see that it would be too big an issue for them not to come, unless this is someone very close to you. 

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Personally I would invite the 8th grader since he’s only 1 year away and the family is Out of Town. I would not invite the 6th grader though.

 

Post # 6
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

For the out of state kids, I’m inclided to let them both come. That is if you’re ok with the 8th grader being there. That’s what Fiance and I are doing. We have a family coming from out of state, their 2 oldest meet our age requirement, but their youngest doesn’t. We’re going to let them bring all 3 because I’d hate for them to have to leave their youngest at home all weekend. If they lived closer, it would just be the 2 oldest.

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think most parents would bring the younger child with them anyways and they would probably just stay in the hotel room for the evening. 

Post # 8
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Things to consider: does the 6th grader know anyone else to hang out with? Are you okay with possibly only one parent attending, while the other might go out with the 6th grader? (Presuming the child has two parents.)  

I feel like my family would provide some backlash if I only allowed one child to come.  I don’t think I can give reliable advice because I’m inclined to invite them both… but then I’m inviting all ages to my reception– and yes, we’re still getting pretty darn drunk! Wink I think, because the 8th grader is so close to the age, it wouldn’t be weird to let him/her slip into the reception. 

Also: why not call the family of the 8th grader and ask them– say it will be for high-school age children and above, but both of their children are welcome if they’d like to come. Back when I was in 8th grade, I would have been more excited about a weekend by myself or a sleepover at a friend’s house, so you might not even have the problem!

Post # 9
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I think it is hurtful to split a family like that. But it is your event and etiquette says you can invite whomever you like as long as social units are invited together. Siblings are not social units though so can be invited separately. But that doesn’t mean people would not be upset.

I would invite both under agers.

Post # 10
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Most 6th graders I know are mature enough to behave at a wedding. I wouldn’t split a family like that, it is pretty rude in my opinion.

Post # 11
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I attended a wedding reception as a middle schooler and knew NO ONE but the bride, her mom and my mom, and it was a dancing intensive wedding.

 

I was bored s***less. I spent more time in the hotel giftshop and watching people dance than anything else. 

But, I would say invite them both and let the parents decide. I don’t think people will notice this violation of the “no kids” policy, cuz they are roughly adult looking.

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