High school sweethearts….

posted 3 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

Ahhh the first bloom of love for the past. My question would be this. How would you feel if the person you were seeing was gushing over someone else they had a history with? How would you feel if it were your boyfriend who recently started a project with his first love?

If he was to stop his relationship with her to begin one with you, could you really look yourself in the mirror? What about his integrity? Will you ever wonder if he might start seeing someone and put you on hold to make that leap? 

He is taking things slow in a new relationship. I wouldnt get involved in that. You are still remembering him from your high school days, and while I think its nice to reminiesce, you have to understand that you and he are not exactly the same people you were back then.  You have different experiences.

I would step back and let him figure out his current relationship. If it doesnt work then fine you have an opening. If it does work out with his current love interest then you know it wasnt meant to be. 

Post # 3
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think there’s any harm in being honest with him about your feelings, Bee, just so long as you’re sure that they’re authentic and not the result of needing someone through the difficulty of the emotional turmoil in your life right now. You don’t want to involve him in your life for the wrong reasons. 

Tell him you know you’re in a difficult spot right now, being separated and coming out of a rough marriage, but that you have (describe feelings) for him, and that has been a constant throughout the years. 

Let him know that you respect that he’s talking to someone and will continue to be respectful of that if the relationship with her continues, but that in the event it doesn’t end up being the right fit for him, you’d love the opportunity to revisit the idea of each other. 

Don’t get your hopes up about him ending a potential relationship *for you*, but it does sound like it’s a very new, non-exclusive thing. He’s not off the table. In today’s world and modern dating, “talking” is basically hanging out without any commitment. 

The time is now, Bee. If you’re going to say something, do it, before he’s introducing you to his new gf a month and a half from now because you didn’t show your interest. 

If things do develop, take it SO SLOWLY. This is something I feel like you do need closure on, but don’t rush, or you’ll self-sabotage. 

Post # 5
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

OP, I want you to think ahead. It’s your last day on Earth. You’re thinking back over your life. What will you regret? Will you regret laying things on the line and telling your friend how you felt, or will you regret not saying anything and not knowing if you two could have made a go of it?

He’s only dating the other girl, they’re not serious or in a relationship. You don’t need to stay quiet about your feelings if you don’t want to. 

Post # 6
Member
9354 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would put it very respectfully “I know you’re seeing someone and I respect that fully but if things don’t work out for some reason I’d like to take you on a date.”

Post # 7
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

schooldaze :  Lay your cards out on the table. He’s not officially and exclusively dating someone; he’s talking to someone and slowly considering a relationship with them, even though he’s still obviously hung up on you. It’s going to be better for this other girl if all this happens now before she gets too attached, plus neither of you are doing her any favors since he’s not really emotionally available for her.

Life is too short to let this guy slip away again. 

Post # 8
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

princessanon0125 :  Aren’t you be concerned about the new girl he’s talking to? It’s obvious he’s not over OP, and still holds a torch for her and “has a part of his heart that only she can breach” and all that. It’s going to be better for this other woman if she finds out now that the guys she’s talking to is not emotionally available. 

Post # 9
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

I’m definitely against getting in the way of an existing relationship, however, you’ve made it clear they are only seeing one another so it doesn’t sound too serious. Based on conversations you and he have had, I say let him know how you feel. There’s history between the two of you, and you both clearly care deeply about one another. There is a very good chance he feels the same way that you do and if neither of you are willing to speak up, this potential relationship may slip away again. If it doesn’t work out, at least you won’t have to live with the “what if”. Sometimes you have to just go with your heart. Now that I’ve gotten the hopeless romantic out of me, the only thing I’d think about is whether or not the possibility of things not working out would negatively impact your ability to work together on this project. Even with that said, I 100% say go for it and please keep us posted! <3

Post # 10
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

I second what slomotion :  said. I would try to keep the relationship/feelings out of the board room though while discussing the project he’s helping sponsor. Business and pleasure should be separate. You might also want to prepare yourself for him to not return your feelings (sounds like he does have some feelings though!) because you risk losing a sponsor on the project if it goes sideways. I’m cheering for you though, this is a sweet reconnection story. 

Post # 11
Member
1778 posts
Buzzing bee

schooldaze :  I got the warm fuzzies reading this!!! Tell him how you feel and keep us updated no matter what! 

Post # 13
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

This is like a Hallmark movie..a second chance at love!!  I would say something. 

Post # 14
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Usually, I feel that relationships from the past like this are overly romantisized and that the reality won’t live up to the fantasy. However, in this case, I can’t see any major downside to gently pursuing this. Ask him to dinner and see where it goes!

Post # 15
Member
9354 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yeah but I’m to the point. I ain’t got time to be pussyfooting around. 

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