(Closed) Highly irritated with one of my MOH’s!! HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@ReyDar64:  Not really for anything other than the Maid/Matron of Honor drifting apart from your friendship. 

I don’t think she wants to show you up on your wedding day so much as she wants to make the ex bf jealous. That’s ok. 

As for her bday weekend, she may have plans in the works. You don’t know. People generally think their birthdays are big deals, and make it the only time of year they dedicate to themselves. So she probably has a good reason to be a little disappointed over that. Just move the date so the focus is back on you.

Post # 5
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe it’s different in person, but it doesn’t seem like a huge deal. Bridesmaids aren’t required to help with the wedding or listen to you talk about it. Generally women choose someone who would listen, but they don’t have to. Two of my bridesmaids are out of state, so should I get mad at them for not helping put invitations together or going shopping with me? No. I’m just happy they’ve agreed to stand by me on a very important day, and that’s all that’s “required” of them.

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not sure what advice you’re looking for.  She wants to look good because an ex will be at your wedding – I totally understand that.  She isn’t trying to upstage you, and wouldn’t succeed in that effort if she did.  People are coming to the wedding to see you get married, not to see her standing next to you.

As for your saying that she isn’t doing anything to help – as PP said, she doesn’t need to.  Just because you would help her doesn’t mean she needs to help you.  Some people just aren’t that into weddings, or helping plan them.

Post # 9
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

To play Devil’s Advocate here…you chose two MOH’s. By your own admission, Maid/Matron of Honor #1 is on top of everything and is doing a rockin’ job. Perhaps Maid/Matron of Honor #2 recognizes that and doesn’t feel like there is much left for her to do? If I put myself in Maid/Matron of Honor #2’s shoes…I might feel a little left out if you weren’t approaching me with stuff you need help with. I guess I’m saying that it works both ways. If you have stuff that hasn’t been assigned yet, why don’t you reach out to her and ask if she has some time?

There isn’t a chance in hell that anyone is going to have the ability to upstage you on your wedding day (ok, unless your name is Pippa Middleton, but even then, com’on, Kate looked beautiful and timeless). Don’t even give that a second thought…

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry, but I don’t think it’s warranted…yeah, the comment about looking good is eye-roll worthy, but not something I’d waste any time thinking about. She wants to look good in front of her ex, that’s pretty normal. I’ve seen posts by other bees looking for wedding dresses to make them look hot to make an ex in attendance jealous. And not having your bachelorette weekend when her birthday is seems like a no-brainer.

Post # 12
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

@ReyDar64:  Seriously! My little sister/MOH is gorgeous (and much more slender than I am). When I asked her if she’d be my Maid/Matron of Honor it was with the caveat that she doesn’t “Pippa” my wedding! 🙂

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