Post # 1
I just text messaged my husband to see if he knew why one of our good kitchen towels was in with the cleaning supplies in the bathroom. Here’s his reply: “I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden a striking boom came in the bathroom.. I ran to the bathroom in a hurry with the towel, and placed it there to be safe while I investigated further. I thought I was in danger. It still haunts me to this day that it might happen again.”
Thought this was too funny, and had to share it! Anyone else have funny spouse text messages?
Post # 3
OMG…this is hilarious! My husband does the same thing. Especially if he knows I’m having a bad day. He’ll call me and tell me exactly what I did in bed that morning b/c I’m so sleepy and not with it. I will crack up just hearing about it. Love our men!
Post # 4
hahaha! SO funny!!!!
I have gotten text messages like this while shopping at the mall “I want bourbon street for dinner. As your husband; i command you!”
Post # 5
haha that’s hilarious! I’m interested to see what funny things Fiance says after we get married and live together 🙂
Post # 6
DH texted me once asking when I would be home after work. Because he locked himself in the basement. Without pants on.
Luckily I was on the bus and almost there, but I cracked up in this silent bus. Our washing machine was in the basement and I guess he washed the pants he was wearing as well?
haha good times
Post # 7
I always get funny cooking mishap texts when I’m not home – “Baby, you were right. Cumin and parsley are NOT the same. Ordering a pizza. Are u mad?” hahaha!
He’s also a police officer who works at night – got a text this morning that said “Night wasn’t too busy. Locked up a couple of kids. Pulled a heroin needle out of a guy’s butt”.
Post # 9
The funniest one I ever got was, “Dear, I peed on the cat.” I mean, what do you even DO with that?
Our dumbass fat cat was trying to jump across the toilet while DH was, uh, using it…and he fell in and got peed on. 🙁 Poor cat. Still funny, though.
Post # 10
@Mrs Grape: Oh my gosh. I’m about to roll on the floor laughing!!!!
Post # 11
My husband just texted me “that lunch-sized microwavable chili you put in my lunch is not in a microwavable container. well played Campbells”
Post # 12
@lrc3233: That is TOO funny!
Post # 13
@Mrs Grape: I just LOL’d! And I am still laughing!
Post # 14
I had to scroll through my phone to find one.
Fi: What you doin
Me: Watching moobie. Coming home soon.
Fi: Ah… what movie?
Me: Cult moobie.
Fi: Surely you mean a cult classic like major league?
Me: No, moobie about a cult.
Post # 15
@Mrs Grape: OMG!!!!!! lol. I almost peed a little just reading that! HILARIOUS!
Post # 16
So, this isn’t a text, but it’s still funny. DH is a nurse, and I woke up at 5am this morning to him petting my head (like you would a cat). When I told him to stop petting me, he got upset and said “calm down, I was just getting ready to take your blood pressure and stuff”
He rolled over and went back to sleep – and has no memory of it at all. lol