(Closed) Hilarious husband text messages

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i was laughing so hard at some of these…so funny

 

Post # 50
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Can’t think of any text messages, but one night he was up reasonably late playing some first person shooter video game, and early in the morning I woke up to him sitting up in bed, using his arms as guns and making shooting noises.  I laughed myself back to sleep.

Post # 51
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@KatyElle: My dad did that when I was a little baby! We had just moved into a brand new house, and he filled the kitched full of bubbles. Needless to say, my mother was not too pleased. Or at least that’s how the story goes.

Post # 54
Member
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re a “That’s what she said” couple 😉  And he like NEVER has any!  But one day he was at the hardware store purchasing a staple gun for a craft project of mine and texted me:

 

“I hope you can use this thing, you have to squeeze the trigger pretty hard” 

 

LOL

Post # 55
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My DH, for some odd reason, likes using the toilet (#2) completely naked. Our cat loves to, what I call, “visit” when we’re using the bathroom. I get a text the other day from my DH that our curious kitty cat now knows what’s it’s like to be “tea-bagged”. Yeeeeeah

Post # 56
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Background (kind of gross): I’d bought some live blue crabs and was going to steam them the same night, but got distracted after putting groceries away and totally forgot about them (they were in a brown paper bag, so I overlooked them… total fail on my part).  I left early the next morning to hang out with my mom for the day. 

Later that evening, I get this text, “babe, the crabs really smell and i can’t concentrateCry.  may i throw them away?”

It made me bust out laughing (I felt really bad, but it was still funny) because i knew he was at home studying, and when i saw the cry face, i imagined my poor guy sitting there totally bewildered by the smell and wondering whether or not he was allowed to throw them away… it must’ve gotten really bad for him to have to text me and use the cry face because he never uses emoticons. 

Post # 57
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Again, not a text…  I picked up some yarn yesterday afternoon after a remarkably June Cleaverish morning (stew for dinner and freezer, cookies, breakfast, vitamins, healthy lunch for hubby, all in a flowered apron.)

“Yarn?  YARN???  You’ve passed doting housewife and gone straight into endearing grandma!”

Post # 59
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

On the way to our honeymoon, the GPS tells DH and I to merge onto “US-90, Business.” DH replies…”Did that thing just say, “You best mind your business???!”

Post # 60
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

“How do you get ketchup off of a white shirt?” — 30 minutes prior to our wedding ceremony. 

Post # 61
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So I just read this and realized mine wasn’t that funny. Fail.

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