(Closed) Hilarious "Instruction" from Friend

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

This is actually common knowledge. You wear ivory if the bride wears ivory… otherwise you make her dress look yellow in all the photos. If you both wear ivory, it will just look “white” in the photos with no glaring difference.

Post # 5
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m wearing ivory and FI is wearing a black tux, white shirt, and ivory vest with tie.  The ivory vest actually looks nice on the white shirt and contrasts well, and still coordinates with (not matches) my dress.  Win win.

Post # 6
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

I think first and foremost, you should ask your bride if she cares if your shirt is white or ivory. If you think she’ll be upset about the pictures, then maybe you should reconsider your stance. And I never said you were an accesory, weddings are about compromise.

 

Post # 8
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@NovaGrey:  +1 or at least an ivory vest.

Post # 9
Member
45645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NovaGrey:  Many tux rental places tell gooms to wear an ivory shirt, which is completely unnecessary.The groom’s shirt will NOt make the bride’s dress look dingy.

On the other hand there is no need for other Bees to get their noses in the air over anyone wearing other than a white shirt, or wearing tuxedos at other than evening weddings. Tradition is fine, but times change, and many a groom has worn a colored shirt, tie or vest and worn a tux in the morning or afternoon. It is simply a choice that does no one else any harm so what does it matter?

Post # 10
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

[Comment moderated for name calling]

I fail to understand how asking your bride’s opinion on whether or not she is concerned that a white shirt will contrast with her ivory dress and possibly make it look dingy is “starting one’s marriage by being dressed by one’s wife.”

A desire for you both to look good, and coordinate, on your wedding day, as well as showing you care about her opinions, is not in any way a bad sign for the future of your marriage.

The concern your friend’s wife expressed is a very real possibility, I might add! I have pictures of me in my ivory dress next to a friend who happened to have white shorts on that day, and my dress looked VERY dirty.. and NO, she was not an “accessory,” but being photographed in my ivory next to her stark white made my dress look antique (and not in a good way)…

Post # 11
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It really depends on how yellow-y an ivory the bride’s dress is — if the bride is wearing a really antique white, a super bright white may make her dress look yellowy. Then again, if the bride chose that antique white, she may be fine with it.

I think the important thing is that the OP seems to be very attached to wearing a WHITE shirt, and it’s the groom’s day too. The white/ivory contrast is a potential issue (but also a potential non-issue), but it’s something that both bride and groom can and should compare notes and preferences on and discuss so that they can come to an informed decision that works for everyone. OP, you shouldn’t be made to feel like an accessory that needs to be dressed by your wife and has no say in your wedding day outfit, but you should certainly feel like a partner who has a vested interest in the best possible outcome for you both.

Post # 12
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

@lovelove1028:  Thank you… I was beginning to feel a little alone here! I had to second guess if I was actually being snarky (which wasn’t my intention). Though I think the OP was a bit condescending in his original post, I had no idea what was to follow 🙁 “dressed by one’s wife”? Really? That sounds so misogynistic 🙁

Post # 13
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Duncan:  GEEZ this place has gotten judgmental and negative. I thought it funny.

 

Post # 14
Member
11239 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve never heard the “if your bride is wearing ivory, you must wear ivory!” rule? Ivory dresses are a soft white, while men’s ivory dress shirts are typically a very yellow shade of white.

For instance:

My ivory dress:

A men’s ivory shirt:
 

See how much more yellow that shirt is? I’m sure there are different shades of these, but this is very close to what my bridal salon had for their ivory shirts (from Jim’s Formal Wear). She actually told me to NOT go with the ivory shirt because it’ll look very yellow.

Post # 15
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I have definitely been to a wedding where the bride’s dress looked yellow because of this. But i agree with PP, it depends on HOW ivory the dress is.

My dress was ivory, DH wore a white shirt and it was no big deal.

Post # 16
Member
2516 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i wore an ivory dress and my DH wore a tux with white shirt and it looked fine. our pictures look fine too. i don’t think the shirt needs to “match” the dress. that’s silly.

eta- this is how much shirt was visible the whole night:

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