Post # 1
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
… talk on the phone EVERY day for an hour at least when he gets home from work, and on the weekends in the morning or afternoon before he can do anything. His parents are great and I’m all about family, but it drives me nuts. They need to know every detail of his day at work, how our cat is doing, etc. I don’t know if I can stand this for the rest of my life! Is there any way I can get him to stop and cut the phone calls down to a few times a week??
Anyone else have this type of problem?
Post # 3
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
Yikes – that would frustrate me too!! Have you spoken to him about this? Tell him how you feel about it.
Post # 4
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
@PrairieGirl: We’ve been living together for a couple years, and after the first few months of it I had mentioned it to him and he said that it wouldn’t always be like that… but it still is. I’ve tried to ignore it, but sometimes when I’m hungry and waiting for dinner (haha) or want to go out somewhere and waiting it really get irritating. 🙁 Just needed to vent a little about it too.
Post # 5
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
Do they call him or does he call them?
Post # 6
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
@Button: Whoever gets to eachother first!
Post # 7
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
Yikes thats a fine line to be crossing when it comes to complaining about family. I’d be careful how you approach that conversation with him because you might not want to come off as jealous. I’d appreciate that your SO does have a good relationship with his family. Maybe when you are supposed to be eating or doing something together, you can kindly interrupt and encourage him to wrap up the conversation.
Post # 8
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
I think it just needs alot of some good ol’ communication between the two of you. It’s defintiely inappropriate for there to be that much time and connection between an adult child that’s moving towards a marriage and the parents of that child.
A very very important step in creating a marriage is leaving ones parents and becoming united with ones spouse. Now that doesn’t mean completely cut them off but that your emotional, financial, and direction getting comes from each other rather than the parentals.
You two need to build your team to be able to withstand the hardships of life & marriage.
Here’s a great link that talks about all of this
http://www.marriagemissions.com/leaving-your-parentsx-to-cleave-to-your-spouse/
Post # 9
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
Why don’t you suggest that he have these calls while he’s driving home from work, (or driving to work). That way it doesn’t interfer with the limited time you have together in the evening.
Honestly I think there is nothing wrong with talking to your parents every day. Some families are very close and that’s wonderful. But people just need to make adjustments so no one feels left out or inconvenienced.
Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Meowkers: ditto
I talk to my mom, dad, and my sister everyday. I call them on my drive home from work.
Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
@Meowkers: Double ditto. Hubs and I both talk to our parents 4-5 days a week… but we almost always do it on our drive home so as not to interfere with our time together.
Post # 12
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
FI’s parents call him almost every day – but usually it’s a two minute conversation. An hour long talk following work every day seems more like a conversation that he should be having with you… venting, stories from your day, thoughts & ideas… etc.
I would try talking to him again. Like PPs have said… be careful approaching this as family can be a touchy subject. Tell him that you are really happy that he has such a great relationship with his parents and that you’d like him to continue being so close – but that all the time he is spending talking on the phone is taking away from your time together.
Another idea would be to start some after-work rituals of your own. I think when you live with someone, you want to do almost everything together. I know I am this way with Fiance sometimes – he has a business and often has lots of work to do at home. I find myself waiting for him before I make decisions about supper or evening activities. I have to remind myself that I can do things on my own! If you’re hungry – make yourself dinner and eat it! Or if you want to go out, write him a note or show him that you are leaving the house without him. You shouldn’t be in limbo while he’s on the phone.
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