- 7 years ago
Bees, I’m a long time poster just using my other account because I don’t want this attached to my real account.
I need your help because this keeps happening and I haaaate it! My SO has had a rough year in his first not-even-whole year of real jobs. His first job was just absolutely horrible with a nightmare boss (though I think I could’ve handled it ok – we’re in the same field) and he would constantly be depressed and questioning his choice of getting into this field, etc. It was so difficult because I would feel like our futures were collapsing, like if he can’t deal with a tough job, how can we make it? If he keeps finding ways to be unhappy with his job, quitting, and starting the cycle all over again how can we survive financially? Is he just going to leave me when things get tough? (Now I know this isn’t true because we’ve survived some REALLY tough stuff in our better half of a decade together, but it was what my emotions said).
So he quit that job, found a DREAM job! Well now it turns out that one of the partners is a total Ice King (didn’t know they existed) and is unhappy with things in his life and takes it out on my SO. Well so my SO takes this shit personally! Tonight when we Skyped he tells me how he wished they just would’ve fired him (over handwriting… handwriting!!!!) and he doesn’t feel good enough, etc. etc. I just don’t know what to do! It’s like he’s unconsciously trying to ruin this dream job because he doesn’t feel good enough! I tell him all this and he’s so stubborn, he thinks I’m only focusing on the positives. He only focuses on the negative, like he literally can’t find a reason that they hired him. I can rattle off 10 reasons in 1 minute, he can’t come up with ANY. All he can focus on is that everyone who works there has 10+ years more experience than him and that he is a newbie and therefore not good and will ruin the company’s reputation.
Will this ever end? It really makes me question if we should move in together, get engaged, married, etc. Can he handle life?! It really, really freaks me out. He’s such an amazing man and he’s everything I could want and more, but this just unnerves me. It’s so frustrating too because I know he’s just depressed but he refuses to take antidepressants. Like this isn’t his normal thinking and all the ways I tell him he should think are ways he had taught me to think!
Ladies, what do I do!? I’m sure it will all be fine tomorrow morning (it always is), but right now… gosh I need you all!