- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Yes Bees that’s exactly what I said today!
For some reason or another my waiting fever has been stepping up week after week for MONTHS- Since about October last year when I hoped a Christmas proposal might be on the card (at which time he told me it would definitely not be.)
However around November he was kind enough to give me a timeline. He said it would happen by June 2011. The month of our 3 year anniversary. 6 months from that point in November. I was at the time jumping for joy, a timeline whooo! Yay, a time line! I can start a countdown, chill out, enjoy “waiting”. And I did for a while. I even really enjoyed Christmas without a shadow of disappointment.
As I’ve posted recently I’ve managed to gag myself from talking about anything engagement related for a while now but it’s been forced. I’ve wanted to ask, check, find out if he was still sticking to the time line HE set. I don’t want to get to June and find out he didn’t realize I’d taken the timeline so seriously.
Pre-valentine’s day expectations have crept up on me a bit. We actually aren’t big on Valentine’s Day and usually just do a dinner and cards but there was a part of me that wondered if he might surprise me with a ring a few months early.
So to today, picture the scene:
There we were, at home. Chit chatting with his head in the fridge, me pottering around the kitchen and he says,
“So what shall we have for tea?” …. and I say, without even thinking, in one breath. “Whyarentweengagedyet?”
He shut the fridge without saying a word and looked at me like I’d just asked him to hop on one leg. I was as shocked as him that it came out! I was looking around as if I could blame it on someone else!
After a minute he said “what?” and I said “er…you heard what I said”
I gathered my thoughts and said “I’ve always excused why we’re not engaged yet but I’ve never actually heard you tell me why we’re not”
His reply- “money”.
I said, if you really wanted a night out you find the money, if you want new clothes etc you find the money, if you wanted to marry me you’d find the money. (Truth is he knows I couldn’t give a hoot if it was toy ring, I’m just ready to be his wife)
I said, “telling me its time, its money, you’re not ready, it’s all excuses.”
I told what I really need to know is that the timeline he gave be back in November is still in his head and I need him to know that it’s something I’m taking very seriously. The last thing I want is for June to come round and for him to say “what time line?”- Which would just be a fob off.
I said “I’ve been ready to marry you for a long time- Metaphorically speaking it’s like I’ve been waiting by the door ready for a night out and your still getting ready, for a while I was ok with knowing I was ready before you but now I’m a bit annoyed and frankly offended that you think you should keep me waiting for so long.”
I can’t admit that I said all this so elegantly there were some tears, but thankfully! He let me say it and said, “You don’t need to worry your pretty little face about this, it’s coming, and June isn’t that long away, its nearly March.”
He kissed me on the forehead, smiled and walked off.
I’m kicking myself for letting it all fall out like that, but boy did I need to let it boil over. I feel like I can relax again! I think its coming Bees.