(Closed) Hindsight: If you could change one thing about your wedding… ADVICE?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 17
5 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

My wedding was 4/17/10 and i spent a lot of time on stuff that I feel nobody cared about also and forgot a really important part of the day which was to give my digital camera to my brother to record the ceremony so that I don’t have to just look at the pictures to replay the whole thing in my mind—my husband cried when he first saw the doors open and me and my dad coming down the aisle because I never wear makeup and to see me made up and looking like a totally different person in a gown and veil were priceless!!! I don’t know if I will recover from that one–maybe in 5 years we can have a renewal vows ceremony–but then again would i even be the same??

Post # 18
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Everyone knows to make a list of “must-have” shots to your photographer, but those usually only deal with people. I wish I had given him a list of the detail shots I wanted because I had A LOT of details that I worked really hard on, but he missed. It’s not really his fault, as I’m not even sure he would have noticed them all as he was running around, but it would have been nice to have pictures of the things I worked so hard on in action. 

Post # 19
19 posts
  • Wedding: January 2010

Good question!

– don’t let the small things stress you! My hair didn’t work at all, but it was fine and noone realised that wasn’t the intended style!

– I had a big wedding by UK standards (200 people) and I tried to spend time with every person. This meant that some good friends only got minimal time with me. I felt awful about this, but one reassured me the following day by telling me that becuase they spent the whole day looking at me, they felt they’d seen lots of me, even though it was only a short time one-on-one.

– On that note, I wished I’d sat down and let people come to me for a bit, I was on my feet the whole evening which was exhausting! Especially in a heavy dress!

Post # 20
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ok ok, I’m not married (or even engaged yet) BUT after going to my sister’s wedding, and my cousin’s I learned something really important….

HAVE A RECEIVING LINE!  My sister did, and my cousin didn’t… My sister got to dance most of the night, eat her dinner and spend time with her new husband… Yes she still mingled, but she didn’t feel like she had to go around to visit with everyone because she had already done that in the receiving line… AND the photographer got some great shots of her with all of her favorite people!  My poor cousin didn’t have one and she didn’t get a chance to sit down and eat until WAY late into the night, they barely got a chance to dance and when they actually did get a chance to eat they kept getting interupted–people coming over to talk, cake cutting etc.

I’m not planning on having a traditional wedding AT ALL, but I’m having a receiving line!  I want to be able to enjoy the reception and not feel obligated to visit with everyone when I just want to eat and be with my new husband!

Post # 21
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

This isn’t a regret, but something I was SO GLAD we did – LIMIT YOUR GUEST LIST!!! Like @eileen marie said, we too invited quite a few people who RSVP’d yes, but never showed. Every single no-show was someone we only invited because we felt obligated to (and now, 8 months after the wedding, I honestly couldn’t tell you who those people were!). If you don’t want to invite someone, don’t – it’s YOUR wedding!! 🙂

Post # 22
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Make sure your hair is out of your face during the ceremony so you can have good photos taken. I had an outside ceremony and although it wasn’t terribly windy, the few tendrils my hairdresser left down covered the sides of my face during the entire ceremony and it bothers me in the photos!!


Post # 23
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I too wish we had had a videographer.

I am so glad my husband and I took a few minutes together after the ceremony. No photographer, attendants, venue staff, nothing. It’s a part of the Jewish wedding liturgy to do this, but we loved that it gave us a a few minutes together to just be there in that moment together.

I am so glad I asked my Mother-In-Law to buy me a pair of fit flops. She got me the sequined kind. Originally I thought my shoes would be fine all night. I practiced walking and dancing in them. I never practiced standing still in them. By the end of the ceremony, my feet were killing me. those fit flops saved my ability to dance!

Post # 24
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

so basically, out of these responses, make sure to get a videographer, only invite people you really want to be there, get detail shots for your photographer, forget the little details and take time for yourself.


easy enough, right?

Post # 25
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would have hired a DOC.  We got by without one but it probably would have been worth the money to have one.  

Oh, and in regards to the videographer, my cousin videotaped the ceremony but I’ve yet to watch it.  And a (flaky) friend of ours taped the whole night but I haven’t seen that yet either and I had forgotten in until just now.  Apparently it wasn’t huge on my list.

Post # 26
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yes yes yes to the videographer!  Photos are WONDERFUL, but you want to be able to capture the rest of the day, including the sights and sounds a still photo just cannot capture.  That’s not my regret because I heeded others’ advice and we hired one.  In fact, we just finished watching our wedding video tonight (I think it’s adorable that my husband is always the one who brings up watching it!).  I just went to a wedding of a friend of ours, and it was beautiful.  BUT, she spent $4000 on a dress and they had no videographer.  I would have either spent less on the dress OR cut budget from some other area to pay for a videographer.  At the very least, have a friend film it if you really cannot afford a pro, but a pro has the equipment and know-how to get you a quality keepsake.

I also agree with the “invite who you want” advice.  I think that’s my biggest regret.  To keep things fair at work, I invited only the people I had worked with the longest, and felt closest to.  There was a newer coworker I got along with REALLY well, but she’d only worked there a couple months, so I didn’t invite her.  Now I wish she had been there to celebrate with us!  Especially because since then we’ve gotten even closer, whereas I’ve drifted apart from some of those I DID invite.  Also, there is another coworker I didn’t invite partially because we hadn’t worked together as long but also partially because my husband doesn’t care for her.  Really, he would have only had to spend about five minutes total with her, (couple minutes in the receiving line and a couple at the end of the night when was said goodbye to her).  I think she was hurt to not be invited, and I also regret not having her there.

Hehehe…also, our church coordinator was nice, but, as my husband says, she was a bit of a Nazi.  I’m sure she was trying to be helpful and take care of some of the details for us, but, for example, they put our custom-made aisle runner down wrong because she didn’t know if it would be long enough.  I could have told her it was long enough had she asked because I ordered it to the church’s aisle specifications.  So our design was at the front of the church instead of at the bride’s entrance.  I’m sure nobody else noticed, but because it was backwards, we missed out on a picture I REALLY wanted, (the seller had a beautiful picture of a couple laying on their tummies on the aisle runner with their monogram right in front of them).  So don’t sweat the small stuff, but if there is something important to you like the aisle runner was to me, it’s okay to double-check on the details, or better yet, have someone else double-check for you.

Post # 27
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

So: kickass videographer, hire a DOC, limit the guest list to the people you really want to be there, make sure good music is taken care of, list of required shots to the photographers… I think we’ve covered all of these, and even made them high priorities, phew! We’ve even got some Ambien for the night before. 🙂 I know I’d feel sick all day long if I hadn’t slept. Great thread.

Post # 28
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

We just watched our wedding video (raw footage 3 1/2 hours!) last night and it’s just awesome! Was great to see the pre-ceremony coverage (him and I getting ready seperately in the hotel), the ceremony was awesome and we LOVED watching the reception toasts and dancing! I can’t imagine not having a wedding video! We knew we wanted one from the beginning. I can’t wait to see our final 45 min. video.

I agree with others on not sweating the small stuff…most of the little details aren’t even noticed. I spent so much time on favors, centerpiece flowers/colors….everything looked wonderful and I’m sure had I picked something else, that would have looked great too. It’s the overall mood that makes the day-not the little things!


Post # 29
21 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would have taken OTC sleeping pills the night before the wedding or even just some benadryl.  I only slept about 3-4 hours for 3 nights leading up to my wedding day.  So on my wedding day I was soooo exhausted. 

I hired a DOC and I can’t recommend that enough!!  I LOVE my DOC.  I found her here on weddingbee, she was also Mrs. Star’s DOC and she was amazing!!  I would have a list a mile long of regrets if it hadn’t been for her.  She just made the whole day run smoothly and I didn’t have to worry about a thing.

I also agree with not sweating the small stuff.  My DOC actually told me to forget favors, out of town bags, and programs if they ended up being too much of a hassle.  I followed her advice and guess what – no one noticed or cared because no one knew what I had planned.  It meant that the week leading up to my wedding was a lot less stressful because I let go of doing those things.  Best advice ever!

Post # 30
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

@Nemsiy: I’m SOOO glad that you ended up using Danielle! Isn’t she the best?!? So glad your wedding went so well!! 🙂

Post # 31
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Don’t wait until the day before the wedding to pick up your marriage license!!  We were stupid and waited to the last minute, and it was a freaking county furlough day and the courthouse was closed.  Also, CONFIRM things with your vendors!  That way you don’t have to throw together a string trio the Thursday before the wedding.

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