Post # 1
We’re planning our wedding for this November and are wondering what peoples regrets for their weddings were, in terms of things you ‘had to have’ that in hindsight you really could of done without or didn’t even use.
Or things that you cut or decided were too expensive/you didn’t want, that in hindsight you really wish you had of splurged for/had on the day?
Post # 3
– My workmate ‘had to have’ these little kissing bells that would double as place holders, she spent all this money on them and then on the day the venue didnt put out her place cards and the majority of bells ended up on the kids table, where they got rung incessantly all night, during the speeches etc until one of the aunts confiscated them all. So she says she definitely wouldn’t do that again.
– Another friend had a 6 course meal at her reception,the meal itself stretched for over 4 hours so there was literally less than an hour at the end of the night for dancing/socialising and I know she was upset that not many people got up to dance. Some guests even left before dinner finished, we were still eating after 10pm.
Post # 4
Our wedding hasn’t passed yet, but I already have a few regrets..
– I regret buying satin tablecloths/chair covers.. I liked the shiny look but now I’m not sure if I do..
– Personalized napkins for the cake – I let my mom talk me into these, but I feel they were a waste of money.
– I’ve purchased ALOT of accesories that I’m not using.. lots of them looked really nice online, but in person not so much.
– I switched my colors from Ivory to White, so I had alot of ivory things I’m not using [tablecloths, chair covers, sashes, ect.]
That’s all I can think of right now, but I’m sure there’s more.
Post # 5
there was a really long thread about lessons and regrets awhiile back- someone should link it! I forget what it was called.
Post # 6
@jenilynevette: Will you PM me the ivory stuff you’re not using?? I may be able to buy some stuff off of you.
Post # 7
Commenting to follow. I’m in the early planning stages for November as well and am curious about what people regretted doing or not doing.
Post # 8
I don’t regret anything that I made or bought, but I do regret NOT getting a videographer.
Post # 9
I kind of regret not spending some extra money to have our photographer stay later – but we could have cut an hour off our “getting ready/pre-ceremony photos” to accomplish that as well. I just wish we had more pictures of our guests.
Post # 10
@duchiewoo: We had a destination elopement so we already did not have many things to worry about (chairs, linens, centerpieces, entertainment, invitations, etc).
However, I did opt to do my own hair and makeup. The alternatives were a) drive 45 minutes oneway to a salon that had absolutely no pictures to show me so I could see what kind of work they do – all fof $100, or b) pay $300 for someone to drive to my hotel and do my hair and make up for me – again without any trial.
It seemed more risky to do a or b to me (not liking my trial I had done in my town). I tried to go heavy on my make up but it did not look like it in the photos (that’s OK, it just really looks like me!). I’m kind of glad I did not pay to get my hair done as everything was outside, and a brief wind storm came through!
So really I have no regrets about spending or not spending. I do wonder how my hair/makeup would have turned out with a professional. Luckily we have a great photographer, so it was all wonderful in the end!
Post # 11
BIGGEST REGRET: -Not inviting people because I was stressed out about money. My advice to brides would be: when in doubt, invite. (Our guest list was tight – only close friends and family – only people that had met DH (we’d been waiting for awhile) – and only chose to invite people in our current lives. But, in the process, left out some people who I’ve since been in contact with, who I truly would have LOVED to have been there and connected with. I also invited people I was SURE would be in my life and they are not. I guess that’s all to say – you really can’t predict what the future holds with relationships, but if I were to do it over again – that would be it (invite more people and be more fluid with the guest list). I invited 175, thinking 140 would show and our actual count was more like 125 – so, I easily could have invited the 20-30 people that I was on the fence about (and really wish I had invited!!!).
-Things that were totally worth it: photobooth, a MUA on site, florist (made my decor!), live music during cocktail hour, open bar
-Not worth it: DH insisting he wanted to buy his tux (hasn’t worn it since and now is too big for him!), stressing out about chairs (I was on the fence about our rustic chairs and in the end, didn’t even notice them (because people were sitting in them!!!), stressing out about the tablescape (our florist did awesome centerpieces and I had stressed out about getting a table runners and chargers and in the end it was such a waste of time)
That’s all that’s coming to mind …. oh – another regret was not preserving my bouquet! My florist told me it would be too expensive and discouraged me and I listed (vs. knowing I really wanted it preserved!!) I was so tired by the end of planning that I just said ‘whatever’ – and I wish I had a plan in place to have made it happen!
Feel free to ask specifics, if there’s anything else in mind!
At the end of the day, there will be random things that are important to you – focus on those and let the other things slide. My mantra was as long as my guests were well fed and take care of – and the details I cared about were done – nothing else REALLY mattered.
Post # 12
I regret NOT having a videographer. We didn’t have the money in the budget, but man I would have loved to have a video of our day.
I had fewer guests come than expected, so we had too many tables, chairs and centerpeices. I leaned on the heavier side of the guest count, so we had a lot of extra space.
I bought my own alcohol and ended up with too much of everything. This ties back into not having a good guest count, and last minute no-shows. Bitches! lol
I didn’t eat any cake when I was there. We cut the cake, got into dancing and I totally forgot. there was some leftover but by the time we got back from the honeymoon it just wasn’t as good.
Overall though, I’m married to my best friend and awesome DH, and that’s all that matters.
Post # 13
I believe this is the thread @MrsBuesleBee: is referring to: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/looking-back-what-could-you-have-done-without-on-your-wedding-day#axzz2ub7bmHpX
I can’t speak to regrets because my wedding isn’t until August, but I second @oracle:‘s advice: “when in doubt, invite”. Since we’re having a Destination Wedding, I wanted to keep it small (immediate family and close friends only), but my Fiance is of the more the merrier mindset. I’m glad I swtiched to his way of thinking by the time I sent the STDs. I have a few very close friends from grad school, who I don’t talk to/see very often because they live across the country (where we went to school), and the STD has led to catch-up sessions and at least one of them saying she and her DH are going to try to come, even though she’ll have a 1-year old by then. I’m so excited to see her!
Post # 14
I regret not springing for the videographer. At the time we really couldn’t afford it. But looking back, I could have spent less on flowers and lounge furniture to squeeze it in. I am sad there is no video of our beautiful day.
Post # 15
My only regret was not asking someone to video our ceremony, even on an iphone. It was short, and intimate, and we wrote our own vows, and I have no memory of it! oops! I had a moment where I thought about asking someone, but forgot. Oh well!
Oh, and I didn’t get any cake! I picked out cupcakes with special flavors…I picked one up and then put it down and never came back.. dang!
Post # 16
@duchiewoo: I ordered programs a few weeks out, and spent a couple hundred on them. I still have more than half of them sitting in my closet….total waste of money. The photobooth was 100% worth it though!